BXBX NOVEL Chapter 831 - Saving The Relationship (1)
~ Los Angeles, Cliffside House ~
September 21, 9:21 AM
Sophia found Sarah on the training ground.
Sarah is up since early, which is unusual for her. She did her morning run and now she is beating a training dummy senseless. It's the same thing she did every morning since they returned from the resort.
Sarah was lost in her thoughts and it took Sophia some time to get Sarah's attention.
"For you.", Sophia handed Sarah a bottle of water.
"Thanks.", Sarah took it and had few gulps before closing it and keeping it down.
Sarah wanted to go back to beating the dummy, but she saw that Sophia made herself comfortable on a log which serves as a bench and it seems that she wants to talk to her.
Sarah looked at Sophia and raised her eyebrows indicating that she is waiting for Sophia to speak.
"How are you doing?" Sophia asked.
"OK." Sarah was avoiding to look at Sophia, fearing that she can see through her lie. But she forgot that Sophia is here because she knows that Sarah is not OK.
Sophia eyed Sarah. "It does not look like it."
"How does it look like?"
"You look like you have something grave weighing on your mind. And if I don't know that you and Aiden are engaged and crazy in love I would think that you are avoiding each other."
"It's not like that.", Sarah half-lied.
It's not that she is avoiding him on purpose, but there is some level of discomfort which she is unable to overcome. Aiden apologized more times than she can count, and she told him every time that he should stop… and he stopped. They tried talking, some casual topics, but everything is forced, and they gave up after some time… and neither of them wants to talk again about Madison and that wretched night.
There is no point digging into that open wound, there is nothing new to come out of it, but for some reason it's not healing either.
Two of them agreed that in few days they will start chasing those eight people and giving them their deserved punishments, but until then it seems that they ran out of things to say to each other.
"Then tell me how should I interpret the fact that if you are not stuck in your computer room you are here training for hours. Always by yourself. You two don't eat together and based on everything I've seen it seems you don't sleep together either." Sophia saw that Sarah lowered her gaze and has no intention of talking. "Fine. You don't need to tell me anything. But you should talk to him… or did you give up?"
"Give up?" Sarah looked at Sophia in panic.
"Are you thinking of breaking up with Aiden?" Sophia clarified.
Sarah felt that she is running out of oxygen. "No!"
"Then you should talk to him."
"Don't you think I tried? It's just that… nothing seems to work."
"How about you talk to me? I'm available." Sophia patted log next to her, indicating for Sarah to sit.
Sarah sat next to Sophia.
She was not sure if she should say anything to Sophia, or how much. She knows that Sophia is super-protective of her and if she tells her the details, Sophia might end up hating Aiden. But Sarah does not know how to talk to him, and there is no one other than her big sister with whom she can talk about it. Sarah decided to tell her, some things…"That night, he hurt me. He was drugged, unable to control himself, and he hurt me. Parts of that night are on replay in my mind and I go through that many times a day. I'm living trapped in a nightmare. I don't know how to get out of this."
"Did you tell him that?"
Sarah shook her head. "I can't… it will not be fair. He is already blaming himself for everything. If I tell him I will just make him feel worse, and it will not help with anything."
"Are you sure it will not help?"
"Help?" Sarah dejectedly shook her head. "No matter what I say, it will not change the fact that the person who should love and cherish me, ended up hurting me to the point that my whole body felt like it's falling apart. And more than once that night I wished that I fall apart, for the pain to stop. It was not just the physical pain, my heart ached because of the fact that he is the one hurting me. And I can't even blame him, because it's not his fault… and because he does not remember."
It was very difficult for Sophia to hear this and to control her rising temper. But she knows that Sarah told her this because she needs an advice and not someone who will blow up and make things worse. After all, Sophia is aware that Sarah loves Aiden and that he loves her back, and that is the reason both of them are suffering so much at this point. If they don't care about each other deeply, they would be able to put behind them that incident easily.
Sophia took a deep breath to calm her emotions and organize her thoughts. "How long do you plan to continue like this?"
"I don't know what else to do.", Sarah admitted.
"Let me ask you one thing: If with your current knowledge you go back to that night and you are standing in front of the suite, knowing that he is inside drugged… would you do anything differently?"
Sarah thought for few seconds before answering: "No."
She realized that she made a choice that evening, and if she can return to that point in time, she would make the same choice. Sarah would decide to stay by his side and help him fight through that night, to share his nightmares. She would not leave him alone.
"Do you want to save your relationship?" Sophia's question pulled Sarah out of her thoughts.
"Of course!", Sarah responded without hesitation.
Sophia held Sarah's hand in hers and patted it gently while speaking. "You need to snap out of this. You two are drifting further apart, and unless you do something about it you will lose him. He is afraid of approaching you because he feels guilty, undeserving of your forgiveness. So, it must be you who will take initiative to fix whatever is broken."
"How do you know that he feels guilty?"
"Aiden talked with Felix." Sophia admitted.
Sarah nodded in understanding. "I know you said a lot, but I still don't know how to fix this. Do you have any advice that is more appropriate for my situation?"
"You said that your mind is filled with terrible thoughts from that night, find good things that will push the bad ones away. Create new memories or remember the old ones. Remember why you love him. You shared so many good moments with him, don't allow one bad night to stain everything that you two achieved so far."
Sarah looked at Sophia with a mix of surprise and gratitude. "I was not expecting that you will support us staying together after finding out that he hurt me."
"I know that you love him. And he loves you as well. And he was not himself. And I also know that he will do everything in his power not to end up in such a situation again. If any of those is not true I would kick him out and make his life a living hell personally." Sophia smiled while talking, but Sarah knows that her sister is not kidding.
Sarah gave Sophia a big hug before going to freshen up.
Sophia returned Sarah's hug, but she didn't appreciate being hugged by a completely sweaty person. Now she needs to freshen up as well.
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