BXBX NOVEL Chapter 30 – Envoy
Pierrot: But Clown, the one who’s seeing a psychiatrist is you?
Clown: What?! How could that be!
Pierrot: That’s how it always it.
Clown: What do I say? How do I make him laugh? Psychiatrists are those creatures that see meaning in ink blobs! They are beyond human!
Pierrot: Don’t worry. I’m right behind you.
.
Psychiatrist: So... Mr. Clown. I am pleased to see you again. How have you been?
Clown: Feeling funny lately.
Psychiatrist: Well, you look ridiculous to me! Haha, always wanted to say that joke. But let’s get serious.
Clown: No! Seriousness is poison to clowns!
Psychiatrist: Is anything bothering you? Overwork? Stress?
Clown: Well... wait a second... I feel like I’m forgetting something
Psychiatrist: Hmm?
Clown: Wasn’t there some...
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Editor’s Corner
AK: Hey Clown-sama, if you had the ability to go invisible for a day, what would you do? Do you know what I’d do?
*silence*
AK: I’d start a fight with a Mime.
Forest Disturbance Arc
Chapter 30 – Envoy
Gabil had easily acquired the Goblin Villages’ support.
Without even having to show our power, the goblins quickly surrendered themselves to me.
They are a pathetic race, after all. Should they show any intention to disobey, I’ll quickly force them to obey.
Gabil had completely forgotten the Head’s words.
He had every village bring out food from their storehouses.
And, for have every warrior assemble before him.
The goblin warriors numbered 7,000.
They were clothed in battered leather armor, and armed with stone spears.
A poor fighting force, but good enough for now.
Those without the will to fight have already ran away.
「Clan chiefs! Are there any other villages around here?」
The chiefs exchanged glances.
One nervously replied,
「No... though not exactly a village, but there is a community...」
What’s with that?
The way they are trying to avoid the question was getting on Gabil’s nerves.
And when he pressed further, they began telling him a bizarre story.
That there was a group of goblins hunting atop of fang wolves.
However, that makes no sense, he thought. Fang wolves are powerful monsters that move in packs.
Called the rulers of the plains, they’ve thwarted Lizadmen’s advances many times.
For them to serve some lowly goblins... impossible!
And moreover, they’ve concluded with a truly ludicrous statement.
Those goblins obeyed a slime.
A slime, the lowest of monsters! What wolf, or even goblin would serve such trash?
He decided to confirm their words.
There’s probably some trick involved, he thought. If he handled this well, he could gain control over the fang wolves.
Gabil thus decided... for the sake of his grand ambition.
The village was not where he was told.
That had angered him, but he decided to be patient. In order to control the wolves, he probably needed to be more patient.
To achieve his desire of ousting the current Head, he needed to have more self-control.
Thus, for the sake of his goals, he decided to be patient.
Gabil perceived only one obstacle to his plans–a lack of an army.
If only he could command the wolves, the other lizardmen would surely follow.
And with the rulers of the plains and the rulers of the marshes under one banner, how could they even think to fear the lowly orcs!
Gabil so believed, without even a hint of doubt.
By expelling the orcs, they would become the true rulers of the Jura Forest. And thus, surely Gelmudo-sama would distinguish them for their service.
For such a grand dream, he’d wait as long as necessary.
The main army he’d already sent back to the Shisu lake, ordering them to be on standby.
Since they didn’t have much provision, they had to act quickly. Time was of essence.
And after receiving reports that tracks were found, he quickly issued orders.
Including himself, he selected ten elites.
Mounting the Overlizards, they ran towards their objective.
The wolves were nothing to fear, as although they were certainly powerful, they obeyed some lowly goblins. Probably the leftovers of a pack.
“I’ll train them myself, and have them regain their former power!” So he thought.
Oh, but how could he have imagined what would lay before him...!
His head was filled with the dream of becoming a ruler of the forest and serving Gelmudo-sama.
.
To meet with the lizardmen’s envoy, I proceeded to the entrance of the city.
There, we had built a small cabin that the guards used to rest in.
The members who attended were myself, Rigurdo, Benimaru, Hakurou, and Shion.
I had asked Shion to prepare some tea, but that ended in regret.
She does not understand the beauty of gentle refinement and natural simplicity. She does everything with all her strength.
As if screaming, strength is everything!
When cleaning, “Everything must be erased” she concluded, and attempted to destroy the very building. Fortunately, we were able to stop her in time and did not need to rebuild it.
“I sincerely beg your forgiveness!” she exclaimed dejectedly, but that doesn’t mean we can let our guard down around her.
She’ll just try to solve any problem with her strength. So I worry about letting her out of my sight.
However, she was ecstatic when I let her take wait on me.
I just wish she wasn’t that happy about it.
And as I had expected, the tea was horrible. But was that even tea...?
I feel like there was strange grass, looking like wakame, floating in there. In short, that was not something you’d drink.
Rigurdo, fearing “What is this... explain yourself!” question, timidly turned away.
What a guy...
Benimaru, keeping his eyes closed as if his life depended on it, refused to look this way.
Damn you guys...
And the oblivious to our trouble, waiting for praise–Shion.
Wait! What is there to praise?
Having said my prayers, I moved to take the teacup,
「Ah! Tea, huh! I was just getting thirsty!」
With those words, Gobuta who had just arrived took the cup and drank it all.
*Guuuuuuuuuudo!!!*
Well done! I’m proud of you from the bottom of my heart!
Shion’s face, however, twisted into a smile devoid of any positive emotion...
That, Gobuta did not notice... couldn’t notice.
One last *Gobu~!* escaped from his mouth before it had filled with foam. And, *Bikun bikun!* he fell to the floor convulsing.
Dodged that bullet. That could’ve been me right there.
Her face colored in surprise, Shion slightly inclined her head.
But I won’t be deceived. She’s forbidden from cooking from now on.
「Ah, Shion. When making food or drink for people, make sure to run it by Benimaru first!」
Let’s make sure she understands.
Benimaru, choking on something, stares at me in response.
“Nope. She’s your problem now, I leave her to you!” I told him with my eyes.
And thus both dejectedly hang their heads.
I pray there be less victims from now on.
Since the alarm sounded, an hour had passed.
And the envoy had finally arrived.
And, with a somewhat ‘different’ attitude, a Lizardman dismounted a giant lizard.
Would he be... their leader?
「Well done with the reception! I’ll allow you to become my servants. Be honored!!!」
Is he still asleep?
Somehow... I have no words to say. What the hell is this idiot saying?
「Hmph. Haven’t you heard? The orc army is advancing on the forest. The only one who can save you small fry is me!」
So the orcs are indeed coming. I was waiting for Souei to report, so this is within expectations.
I guess it would make sense to unite against them, but...
「Oh, right. I’ve heard there is someone among you who has tamed a fang wolf. I’ll make him into an officer. Bring him to me!」
Umm...
Fighting together is good. But what if our ally is an idiot?
An incompetent ally is worse than a hardened foe. That much is common sense...
I took a quick glance at Rigurdo. His mouth was gaping open.
Benimaru scratched his head, and looked at me as if saying, “can I kill this idiot?”
Of course, I hadn’t considered his offer.
We refuse. No, not about Shion’s cooking–their offer!
Hakurou simply crossed his arms, and closed his eyes... or is he sleeping?
And, Shion, who is holding me, is flexing her arms...
Sto.! You’ll crush me!
But when she noticed my panic, she loosened up a bit.
Being held in the slime body certainly feels good, but it’s dangerous.
I let my guard down. Being hugged to death would not be funny. Seems like she can’t control her strength at all.
In any case, this is rather troubling. Who’d have though the envoy would be an idiot.
「Umm, the one who tamed the fang wolf... or rather made him his servant would be me...」
Anyways, let’s continue the conversation.
「Haaah? A lowly slime? Then summon his now. If you do, I’ll believe you.」
How condescending!
Now I’m annoyed. This guy... he’s completely ignoring us, going at his own pace. He’s looking down on us too much.
I’ve met many politicians and office workers before, but never before have I met someone so blatantly foolish.
For such a moron, it should be fine to ignore any rules of civility.
And besides, there is no benefit in making such an ally.
I decided to change my approach,
「Ranga!」
「Ay! I hear and obey.」
Ranga appears from within my shadow. Recently, lurking around in there has become his habit.
「Oh. It seems I have business with you. I permit you to speak.」
I prefer to leave this things to others.
Since there’s always someone who can better manage such people.
But really, the only one who didn’t treat me – while a slime – as trash was Rigurdo, huh.
Well, there’s nothing I can do about losing interest in humoring this guy.
And by the way, it seems that for every person that recognizes my aura while I hide it there is an idiot who doesn’t even while I display it.
That’s something I need to think about.
Noticing my displeasure, Ranga
「Rather than with my lord, I have been ordered to speak with thou. I’m listening. Speak!」
While intimidating the lizardmen, he confronted the envoy.
Who, in turn, lost his composure for a second, but then quickly regained it.
「Ri... right. So you are the Fang Wolf? The chief here? I am the Lizardmen’s raid leader Gabil.
Pleased to make your acquaintance. As I have just stated, I have received a name. So rather than that slime, how about serving me?」
He brazenly replied.
Let me hit him!
No, no, have to act like the mature monster here. Let’s forgive him.
I am an adult. Calm yourself.
But more than myself, I want Shion to relax. Wait, any more power and I’ll..!
Noticing my squirming, Shion apologized by patting me. Seriously, calm down.
However, isn’t he too arrogant for a simple lizard...
Ranga too is begging to let him loose.
「Guruu. Lowly lizard... I am no longer a Fang Wolf. For you to not recognize that much, insignificant being...」
Ranga gritted his teeth and a dangerous crimson light filled his eyes. He is stilling his anger.
Ranga-san... don’t over do it. Will the lizard survive?
Were he not a messenger, I’d laugh watching him torn to pieces for his stupidity, but...
「Very well! I’ll show you my power! Who will be my opponent?」
Oi oi... that’s a bad joke.
Please read the mood, lizard. You’re the weakest one here.
At most, he might be stronger than Rigurdo...
I mean, even Rigurdo possesses B rank strength.
Being the Goblin king, he is strongest warrior among the goblins.
The average for a hobgoblin is C+, but he’s worlds above that.
And that’s not counting his armaments.
Sure, the lizard is a named monster and maybe strong among them, but he pales in comparison to anyone here.
Where the hell is this self-confidence coming from?
We exchanged glances.
Who will fight him...?
「Kukuku, fine. In that case, fight with one of my storm wolves, should you defeat him, I will listen.」
Ranga continued the conversation.
Thank goodness. We couldn’t agree on who’d fight him.
Everyone wanted to beat the guy senseless, and had a dangerous glow in their eyes.
But somehow, seeing them act like that, made me relax.
And whenever someone had an outburst of anger, the rest of us seemed to calm down.
For guys like this, only I seem to be able to keep my cool at all times... but whatever.
「Is that fine? I am willing to face you, you know?
Well, if you feel like making excuses when you lose, you are free to send out your subordinate!」
Uoooooooooo!!! Ranga howled.
Damn it! Just when the anger had subsided, the lizard had to provoke us again.
Ranga calmly summons a wolf.
I didn’t know he had learned such a summoning skill.
Moreover, a black wolf appearing thus, I must admit, looks pretty damn cool.
「Garuu. Shut this lizard up!」
「Gau! (Ay!)」
And then, to the lizard,
「If you wish to borrow my strength, first show your own. Now, begin!」
Ranga shouted.
At the sound of his voice, the battle began.
The lizard, no, Gabil readied a trident, and carefully observed the storm wolf’s movements.
The wolf, on the other hand, stood composed.
*Ton!* He kicked the ground, covering the distance to his opponent in a single leap.
Surpassing Gabil’s perception ability, an overwhelming speed.
Completely unable to react, Gabil never knew what hit him.
In a split second, he received a blow to the chest. The wolf then circled behind him, and held him by the neck – with his mouth, of course – in midair.
He threw Gabil into the air once, and then smashed him to the ground.
That all had happened in the blink of an eye.
Not Ranga, but some average storm wolf had completely overwhelmed the B ranking Lizardmen’s raid leader Gabil.
I knew Ranga had been growing stronger recently, but to think that the other wolves have developed this far...
As a result of the attack, Gabil’s scale armor fell apart, and the lizard himself had fainted.
Gabil’s subordinates, who were busy encouraging him a second ago, now stood troubled.
They could not understand what had happened at all.
「Oi. The winner has been decided. The offer I refuse.
If you come asking for help to fight against the orcs, I may consider it.
Today, however, take that away and leave」
Upon hearing my words, the Lizardmen finally began leaving.
And thus, the troublesome Lizardmen’s envoy had finally departed.
However... the orcs are still going to invade, and we do not have a solid plan yet.
Moreover, we seem to have met a headache-inducing, unreliable “allies” known as the Lizardmen.
The more I thought about these things, the deeper into melancholy I fell.