BXBX NOVEL Chapter 144 - Answers
As Scar began his preparations to leave the kingdom of Lyanna, in another country Yuki had finished his reunion with his family. Although they had been separated for only a day, to them, it felt as if it was the first time they\'d seen each other in a millennia. Yuki had finally accepted his feelings for his new family. No matter how many times he pretended to be a strong kid with no emotions, he couldn\'t lie to himself. Even if others were tricked by his fake front, Yuki couldn\'t trick one person. That being himself. No matter how many times he would try to himself, it was useless because he knew the truth. The truth was that he loved his new family and wanted to spend all his time time with them.
As Yuki laid down on his bed which was located in the attic, he couldn\'t help but find himself in his late night thoughts in which he found himself drowning in questions about what was real and what wasn\'t. He couldn\'t comprehend why his entire life had been rotten hell but suddenly, he\'d been given the life he had always dreamed about. There were no bullies, no neglecting parents and he wasn\'t a shut-in nerd who couldn\'t speak up for himself. He was the exact opposite of the version of him 5 months prior to the new world being created. The only person or thing Yuki could turn to in his time of need such as now which he sought answered for his endless pile of questions.
"Hey, Zero. Do you mind if I ask you any questions?" Yuki asked, knowing that Zero would just say yes.
"Of course master. I will answer any question you may have," Zero replied telepathically as he had always done in the past.
"Sounds great. To start things off, why was my previous life so horrible? Everything in it didn\'t work out for me. I just can\'t understand where this sudden change in my life began," said Yuki.
"Well if you don\'t mind, I\'ll briefly explain without going out of line. Your previous life wasn\'t up to par with the standard living conditions of the average person in the country you were born into, that being the United states. The problem started when you were only a little boy. Your mother was too kind and pampering for her own good. She wanted you to live a life where you were filled with happiness and love in hopes that you wouldn\'t turn into like your father who had left her to care for you. That caused you to be a caring person in the beginning however, once you were forcefully removed from that style of life, it backfired. The only way you could cope with the experience was by throwing tantrums and complaining the entire time. You never truly considered your mother\'s feelings during the entire thing, did you?" Zero asked as he continued to explain.
"I didn\'t," said Yuki. He was beginning to realize what had gone wrong in his previous life. It wasn\'t his mother\'s fault or anyone else\'s fault that he ended up being pathetic. If he made smarter decisions in his previous life, he would\'ve had an ordinary life. However, how was he to blame for acting in such a way? It wasn\'t his fault that he was raised in an environment where he was suffocated with love and treated like a king. While he was to blame for the direct actions he had taken, Yuki couldn\'t be blamed for the way he was raised. It was a trap the entire time. There was no way he would have succeeded in life. Yuki had been set up to fail from the very beginning.
"However, it was not only the relationship with your mother which caused you to fail at life. There was also your relationship with that girl Sophie. You may not like to admit it but the way you acted towards her in the beginning was beyond pathetic. How do you allow yourself to become the generic nerd who does his crush\'s homework while she goes out with the school jock. To make it worse, unlike the generic nerd, you used to have actual friends before you met her. You still had a chance before you met her, but you just decided to blind yourself and walk into a life of emotional torture. She toyed with you like a dog, just as he promised you. Most wouldn\'t have understood why you were so pathetic however, unfortunately for me, I had access to all your thoughts, along with everyone else\'s thoughts and actions as well. That\'s why I don\'t blame you for what you did. You couldn\'t control it but it still doesn\'t mean that what you did was right," said Zero in hopes that Yuki would understand what Zero was getting at.
"I do," Yuki replied. He in fact did understand what Zero was implying. He had been vaguely thinking about the events which had occurred in his life and what led him to commit them while he was resting in the dungeons. Yuki had managed to come up with a conclusion on his own; however, Zero\'s speech made it clear that his hypothesis was correct. The reason why Yuki tried so hard to impress Sophie was because he wanted to experience a new form of happiness. There were a few ways one could attain pleasure. Those beings, friendships, happiness derived from parents or guardians, relationships and many more. Seeing Yuki gave him the idea to attain happiness through a relationship with her. It was the first time he had felt that way about a person. Seeing her alone made him happy, as such, he couldn\'t imagine how much pleasure he could derive from spending time with her as a couple. However, what made Yuki try much harder to attain Sophie\'s affection was his subconscious thoughts telling him that he could make up for the lack of affection from his mother by having Sophie. In thinking that, Yuki pushed himself past his limits.
"That\'s great. I\'m glad I was able to provide the answers for the questions you need to have answered," said Zero.
...
Yuki thought about what Zero had said along with his own separate thoughts. He had been keeping his feelings repressed for so long that he began to lose himself as a person. Yuki had begun to forget about everything which he once sought. His thoughts had been clouded with revenge and murder alone. Although he had gotten revenge on the people that had hurt him both emotionally and physically, he still wanted to take out his anger on someone. Once he had killed the people he had initially wanted, Yuki couldn\'t get enough of it. No matter if he killed a monster or a human, it was never enough. There was always a lingering feeling of dread. Yuki felt as if he was hungry but no matter how much he hated it, he could never get full.
Yuki\'s evil thoughts had begun to consume him from the inside out. All the things he wanted to do in his previous life began to get forgotten and would have soon been completely wiped from his memory if he hadn\'t met Marcell and Elpis. They had woken him up from his life of his endless quest of seeking revenge. Yuki finally began to remember what he had promised himself that he would do once he got the chance. Now that Yuki could do anything he ever wanted with the help of Zero, it was the best time for him to commit to the promises he had made to himself so long ago.
"Before you go, I have one last question. Actually I have 2 questions that need to be answered. I have been neglecting them for a while, however, I think I\'m ready to finally ask them," said Yuki.
"Go on then. I\'m in no rush and it would be an honour to assist you," Zero replied.
"Since you can look through my memories, do you remember my best from when I was a kid?" Yuki asked even though it had made him embarrassed to ask. He didn\'t understand why he felt that way. For some odd reason, Yuki thought that he was asking a stupid and unreasonable request.
"Ohh, do you mean Riku? That kid you met back when you were entering first grade. He was a nice kid. What do you need from him?" Zero asked.
"I\'m wondering about how he\'s doing if that isn\'t too much to ask of you," said Yuki.
"Sure. That\'s fine. I don\'t mind answering any of your requests. Nothing is too much to ask. Let\'s see... Riku, Haru, Yuuma, and Ren managed to stick together even after you moved. Even now in the new world, they\'re still friends. They\'ve formed a raid party/squad and they\'ve recently begun to take the dungeons seriously. I don\'t want to excite you but they haven\'t forgotten about you, they plan to search for you once they gain the ability to level up," said Zero which instantly brought a light to Yuki\'s face.