BXBX NOVEL Chapter 290 - Atmosphere
\'Dear father...
I have wasted so much time, I have hated so much and there are so many things I regret in my life that I can\'t be counted on one hand.
Yet, there is nothing I regret as much as I regret having hated you and not having come to talk to you when I was young.
Maybe you would have rejected me or you would have treated me badly, although I highly doubt it at least I wouldn\'t die with that doubt now.
Every day of my youth, before falling asleep I hoped I would dream of you because in my dreams I would get the happiness and the life I was hoping for. A life with you. But when then I woke up sweating cold for the nightmares as I only dreamed about my deplorable life of mine.
When rarely I dreamed of you and me together waking up from that imagination was even worst than waking up from the nightmare because that was when I realized I could never have it..
In the last months, I didn\'t want to dream anymore, not because I didn\'t have wishes but because the reality was better than the one I wanted to create as I fell asleep. The life I lived with you was a fairy tale.
I never needed anything in my life to survive, I live without food, without water, and without friends and I had experienced what real loneliness is.
At some point I even thought that was my sealed fate, to live in misery for the rest of my life. I actually believed it and gave up on the condition of survival (rather than living) I was in.
Until somehow my fate changed lanes and I found you.
You were there waiting for me with arms spread and forgiving me after having tried to kill you, nobody ever did such a nice gesture to me that I could barely believe it.
Your hug was warm so warm that someone lost and homeless like me felt at home for the first time in his life.
I could never thank you enough for having saved me and for having forgiven me. You and John were the best things that had happened to me. Thanks for having brought a ray of happiness in the darkness of my life.
I will always love you."
William swiped off the tears that wettened his face as he gasped, he smiled sadly and he whispered, "I love you." sobbing he stood up from the sofa and went to drink some sip of water since his mouth was so dried up for the crying that he could barely swallow properly.
"I wish I could have said I loved you more times, I wish I could have hugged you for every second I spent without you." Another tear ran down his cheek as he stared at the letter and spoke with a low voice.
"I know you\'re looking down on me and smiling but my selfishness wishes you are here and I would give everything I have away just to have you by my side one more day."
William chuckled after recomposing himself and washing his face. "John would probably have done the same, you are more similar than you think," William said, he closed his eyes and the image of his two sons together appeared vividly as if it was a photograph.
William then walked upstairs where John and Rose was.
He had bloated and red eyes but despite the sadness, he was holding the letter tightly as if someway it was giving him the courage he needed to stay strong.
John smiled almost surprised to see his father that soon, "dad! How are you?" He said walking toward him and offering a huge smile.
"I am fine…" William lied and everyone knew that but nor Roselyn nor John dared to ask him.
"Let\'s have dinner now." William said, "you must be starving and you had a tiring day. We can still celebrate your win." William exclaimed, Roselyn and John, followed him downstairs.
The couple sat at the table quietly probably both of them didn\'t know very well what to do nor what to say.
"Ethan wrote a letter for me as well and one for his mother," John said, breaking the ice and the silence in the room.
"Oh…" William replied raising his eyebrow and quite surprised by John.
"If he wrote the letter it was because he wanted her to read it so I will give it to her personally," William observed even if a bit of resentment rang in his voice.
He hadn\'t met William\'s mother in years and meeting her after such a long time wasn\'t something he was much excited about.
"I can do it for you if it bothers you, father…" John replied still not touching a bite of his food. Although he was tired and starving somehow he didn\'t feel like eating.
John hadn\'t fully accepted his brother\'s gesture.
"No. I want to do it. I want to let her know that she had missed out the day she rejected Ethan and that he was one of the best people I ever met." William replied, as he spoke sadness filled his eyes but he managed to swallow it down taking a sip of his wine.
"Rose you need to eat, please." William then insisted smiling at Roselyn and covering her hand with his as he gestured at food.
Roselyn nodded, glancing at John who ate despite his nausea only to indulge Rose to do the same.
Roselyn took few bites, she had planned to tell William the news of her pregnancy as soon as she met him but after what had happened she preferred to wait and give the news when the atmosphere was happier than the one in the house right now.
The only noise in the room was the noise of the fork hitting Roselyn\'s dish every time she took the food.
All of a sudden William stood up...