BXBX NOVEL Chapter 231: Just This Once
Chapter 231: Just This Once
Aaron wasn\'t sure how to process what Keeley had just said. Was it fair to either of them? Probably not. Would he accept it anyway? Yes.
He knew what he did; he didn\'t deserve her love. But the last thing he expected to hear her say was that she was tired of fighting the inevitable.
Thinking about it from her perspective, it must seem like she was stuck due to some cosmic force but it was only because he was persistent. He wasn\'t about to give up on her because she didn\'t give up on him before.
Although, that was her point. Aaron wouldn\'t have been persistent at all if he didn\'t remember everything. She was questioning why he had to have memories from their first life.
If he hadn\'t…if she was the only one who was reborn…they never would have crossed paths again. He would have ignored her like every other classmate and gone on to live the life his parents wanted him to.
After all, they only became friends because Keeley was the one to push for it. He wouldn\'t have so much as given her a second glance otherwise.
"Don\'t force yourself," he eventually said with a sigh. "What I want doesn\'t really matter."
Her eyes narrowed. "That\'s all you have to say?"
"What else do you want me to say? You should know where I stand."
He cared more about her presence than her sincerity. He had made that fairly clear already. Why did she even bother asking?
She closed her eyes and leaned back against him. This whole situation was perplexing. He would kill to know what was actually on her mind throughout this conversation; especially since she had been sitting on his lap the entire time as if it were a perfectly normal thing to do.
"I do. I\'m sorry I can\'t give you what you want," she said tiredly.
"What did I say about apologizing? It\'s really not necessary." Aaron glanced at the clock. "It\'s late and you\'ve cried a lot today…why don\'t you go get ready for bed?"
Keeley looked up at him with a soft expression before wrapping her arms around his neck. The surprises never stopped today. What was that for?
"If you\'d been this nice before I wouldn\'t have fallen out of love with you."
Her words stabbed the bitterest place in his heart. Of course he knew that. It was perhaps the cruelest twist of fate he had been dealt. There were no true do-overs. Aaron had to live with the consequences of his mistakes twice.
He didn\'t have a response for that so he simply scooped her up in her arms and carried her upstairs to her room. As he set her down on the bed and turned to go, a tug from behind pulled him onto the mattress. He was about to ask what she was doing but was cut off by her lips covering his own.
Too startled to respond, he lay there like a statue until Keeley stopped to look at him. She seemed embarrassed but there was a desperate plea in the back of her eyes as well.
"Just this once…can we pretend things are the way they were before everything bad happened?"
Aaron blinked at her in shock. He had been dreaming of this but…"Are you sure? You had a rough day, you might not be thinking straight."
He didn\'t want her to regret this and avoid him later. If things got awkward between them again he wouldn\'t be able to bear it.
Her expression changed from embarrassed to unbearably sad. "You don\'t want me."
He was quick to refute. That definitely wasn\'t it! "Of course I do but I don\'t want you to regret it later. We just barely got back to being kind of friendly."
"I won\'t. Tomorrow I\'ll act like nothing happened if you will."
"Then why—"
Keeley looked him dead in the eye. "Like you said, I had a rough day. I want to feel loved for a little while."
She may as well have punched him in the gut. He knew he hadn\'t done anything to make her feel loved once they got married and had to deal with external factors working against them. Even before then he hadn\'t been great at it because he was a naturally unexpressive person.
She was giving him a chance to make it up to her, if only for a moment. Even though it was probably going to hurt more afterwards, he couldn\'t say no.
Aaron reached up and caressed her face. So she wanted to feel loved, huh? He could do that.
He pulled her down on top of him and started out by kissing her slowly and sweetly, pouring all of his repressed emotions into the kiss. He might never get another chance so he needed to do this right.
===
Aaron never had a better night\'s sleep in his second life. Keeley was curled up in his arms, dead to the world, when he woke up. He sighed contentedly and kissed her forehead. Last night hadn\'t been a dream.
His alarm wouldn\'t go off for a little while; he should go make breakfast. She had certainly appreciated it last time. He was pretty sure he still had some of that pancake/waffle mix lying around somewhere.
She came downstairs dressed for the day with wet hair as he was flipping pancakes. They kept folding in on themselves so he had to try multiple times to get one decent one, which was annoying, but he gave her a warm smile when she looked his way.
"Good morning."
"Morning," she said casually. She really was going to pretend last night hadn\'t happened. "Should I make the coffee?"
"That would be great, thanks."
Aaron\'s heart was heavy but he had known this was going to happen and still agreed to it. He couldn\'t regret it either—he had been waiting for that moment ever since he was reborn. He would take what he could get.
He served up the okay-looking pancakes with some melon slices while she poured the coffee. Keeley pushed the mug she had made towards him. Had she noticed it was the one he used most or was it a coincidence?
They thanked each other and ate breakfast in silence but it wasn\'t an awkward one. He was grateful for that. Giving in to their desires last night hadn\'t ruined anything.