Who Let Him Cultivate Immortality

“Be honest, what’s your real name?”

“Zhang Xiaohong.”

Inside the interrogation room, under the flickering dim oil lamp that cast a gloomy and dark atmosphere, Fang Qingyun stood with arms crossed, smirking at the newly captured suspect, while Constable Wei stared into Yizhang Hong’s eyes, throwing one question after another. A junior constable was rapidly jotting down the interrogation content on a table beside them.

“Gender?”

“Male.”

“Cultivation level?”

“Peak Late Foundation Establishment stage.”

Constable Wei snorted coldly: “Record that, late Foundation Establishment stage, skip the rest. Zhang Xiaohong, now I’ll tell you, if you think our handling of this case affects a fair trial, you can request a recusal, meaning someone else will take over. Do you wish to apply for a recusal?”

“I request…”

Constable Wei hummed, dragging the sound out with a rising intonation.

Zhang Xiaohong quickly said: “No, no, I do not request a recusal.”

“Tell us, what brought you here?”

“Not paying for skewers?”

Fang Qingyun, losing patience, said: “Stop the interrogation, execute him on the spot. Just say he resisted fiercely when arrested, preferring death over submission, and died from poisoning himself.”

This was definitely something Fang Qingyun would do. Yizhang Hong, chained up, hurriedly said: “I’ll talk. About ten days ago, I woke up at the bottom of a cliff. It seems I accidentally slid down while passing by the mountain on the west side of Yanjiang County. When I woke up, I found a cave that seemed to be a cultivator’s dwelling. The cave looked long abandoned. I cautiously entered and found nothing of value except for a book.”

“That book was taken from me during the search.”

“It contained some obscure talismans and corresponding arrays, such as the Life-Draining Talisman and Life-Draining Array. According to the book, the Life-Draining Talisman could convert lifespan into my cultivation. I was at a bottleneck and thought of breaking through to the Golden Core stage in one fell swoop, to live freely. Moreover, this method of breakthrough could also increase lifespan, which was too tempting.”

Fang Qingyun angrily said: “I’ve consulted with the county magistrate. With the scale you’ve set up, let alone breaking through from the Foundation Establishment to the Golden Core stage, even breaking through from the Golden Core to the Nascent Soul stage would be more than sufficient!”

Yizhang Hong thought to himself that he also knew it was a waste, but he didn’t know any other method.

Of course, he couldn’t say that, so Yizhang Hong pretended not to hear Fang Qingyun’s scolding and continued: “I’m a talisman cultivator myself and quickly learned the Life-Draining Talisman. Setting up the Life-Draining Array wasn’t difficult; just arranging the Life-Draining Talismans into the shape of the array was enough.”

“The effect of the Life-Draining Talisman is undetectable by cultivators, and its effect on mortals is merely causing drowsiness, easily overlooked. Moreover, once the array is set up, even the drowsiness effect disappears.”

“It’s just that the Life-Draining Array requires too many talismans to be posted, impossible for one person to complete in a short time. I happened to meet two companions, the other two you’ve captured.”

“Strangely, those two were not from Yanjiang County and appeared here, unable to remember why they came to Yanjiang County.”

“We hit it off and decided to break through the Foundation Establishment stage together.”

“We were meticulous in our actions, leaving no traces. While you were actively searching for Life-Draining Talismans, we didn’t make any moves, feeling this place becoming increasingly unsafe. We wanted to leave Yanjiang County but heard about a famous barbecue shop here and wanted to try it before leaving. Before the skewers were even ready, you guys showed up.”

Yizhang Hong was puzzled, unable to figure out where the mistake was made. Constable Wei naturally wouldn’t say it was the enthusiastic shop owner who reported them.

After the interrogation, Constable Wei had him sign: “Write your name at the bottom of each page, and on the last page write, ‘I have read the above record, and it matches what I said.’”

“Press your fingerprint where all the signatures are.”

…

The next day, Constable Wei sent over a banner of commendation as usual.

He was considering whether to simply set up an office in the barbecue shop and live there, wondering if catching people this way would be more efficient than patrolling all day.

With this going on, becoming the Chief Constable seemed just a matter of time.

“Shopkeeper Lu, your barbecue shop has good Feng Shui, a place of outstanding people and spirituality.”

Lu Yang offered a forced smile: “Whether the place is spiritually vibrant is secondary; the main thing is it attracts outstanding people.”

“The magistrate office has been too busy lately. Once it’s less busy, I’ll apply to the higher-ups to see if we can issue your shop a plaque for being an outstanding establishment.”

“That would be great, here’s some freshly boiled water, have it while it’s hot.”

Lu Yang enthusiastically poured a cup of boiling water: “Are you still busy even after catching them?”

“Ah, well, the people have been caught, and we found the place they mentioned, an abandoned cave that was probably used by a wanted demonic cultivator as a hideout. Once we tear down the Life-Draining Talismans according to their directions, this case will be considered closed.”

“The problem is the Spring Harvest Festival is coming, and it looks like we’ll have 20% more visitors than last year. I doubt the Chief Constable will approve any leave, telling me to patrol more during the festival.”

“You can come here to rest if you’re tired from patrolling; our shop will be open as usual during the Spring Harvest Festival.”

After sending off Constable Wei, Meng Jingzhou heaved a sigh of relief: “Finally, it’s over. The past few days have been so tense, searching for Life-Draining Talismans every day. Maybe Yizhang Hong saw how hard we were working and decided to walk into the trap himself.”

Barbarian Bone hesitated, feeling that Yizhang Hong probably didn’t think that way.

Lu Yang noticed Lan Ting gesturing non-stop and asked curiously: “What are you doing?”

Lan Ting, without looking up, said: “I’m trying to research an automatic skewering array, where the bamboo skewers automatically thread the meat pieces.”

Lu Yang picked up a bamboo skewer, pinched it between two fingers, and weighed it, deep in thought.

Suddenly, he threw several pieces of meat into the air and with a flick of his fingers, threw the bamboo skewer.

Unfortunately, the skewer grazed past the meat pieces without threading them.

Barbarian Bone didn’t understand what Lu Yang was doing, thinking Brother Lu was playing some new game. Meng Jingzhou’s eyes lit up, catching on.

“Are you trying to use bamboo skewers to thread meat, practicing the technique of using hidden weapons?”

Lu Yang smiled without saying a word, which was as good as a confirmation.

Soon, Meng Jingzhou also joined the practice, studying how to exert force precisely to skewer the meat pieces moving in the air.

Barbarian Bone hesitated: “This… isn’t something righteous cultivators do, right?”

Lu Yang seriously said: “You’re mistaken. Haven’t you heard ‘Upright stands the bamboo amid green mountains steep, Its toothlike root in broken rock is planted deep. It’s strong and firm though struck and beaten without rest. Careless of the wind from north or south; east or west.’? Bamboo is resilient and modest, a symbol of a gentleman. How could using bamboo as a weapon be considered a hidden weapon?” (TL Note: The poem is Bamboo in the Rock by Zheng Xie. I got the translation from /poem-bamboo-in-the-rock/)

“This is a weapon only gentlemen would use.”

Enlightened, Barbarian Bone felt an epiphany: “So that’s how it is, then I’ll join too.”

Lan Ting focused on her array research, with several bamboo skewers floating in mid-air. Suddenly, with a whoosh, a skewer shot straight into the wall, quivering at the end.

If the target had been a person, they would have been dead.

“The power seems a bit too strong,” Lan Ting scratched her head, puzzled. She had tried to minimize the force as much as possible.

“Forget the automatic skewering array, might as well turn the power up to the maximum.”

The two specters watching the chaotic scene shivered in fear.