BXBX NOVEL Chapter 286: How much he missed her
286 How much he missed her
The waiter returned with their orders and served it on the table. Abalone rice and steak, Jin Yue wasn\'t really a fan of it, but at that moment, it was his favorite meal.
They ate quietly, not talking to each other, as though they were strangers eating on the same table.
After the table was cleared, Xin Yong broke the unending silence which had reigned between them since the beginning of the meal.
\'\'I think this is for you…\'\'
She opened her bag and took out a brown envelope and passed it across the table. Jin Yue did not need to open the envelope to know what was inside of it; he recognized it as soon as he saw it.
\'\'I read the letter …and saw the pictures; \'\'
Xin Yong continued after some seconds of silence. \'\'I\'m sorry for not replying earlier. \'\'
Jin Yue\'s heart hit rapidly, he looked comported on the outside but only he knew how much he was struggling with himself on the inside.
\'\'I\'m really glad that you found a way to tell me all these, even when I was so adamant on not wanting to speak to you ever again. I mean, after reading that letter, it eased a bit of my pain. At least I knew I wasn\'t dreaming all the while. \'\'
She paused again; at this moment, Jin Yue began having a bad feeling.
She was not sounding like she wanted to come back to him; rather like… like…she was saying a final goodbye.
As that thought came into his mind, he involuntarily sat up on his seat;
\'\'Sweet…\'\'
\'\'Jin Yue, please, don\'t interrupt me, i don\'t want to miss anything I want to say to you now. \'\'
Jin Yue took in a deep breath as a sharp pain coursed through his heart.
\'\'I want you to know that you caused me so much pain, although you didn\'t mean to, but that cannot be changed.
I also want you to know that I forgive you, for everything, for not trusting me enough and for everything I went through because of that silly mistake.
I don\'t blame you entirely, because I lied to you, although it wasn\'t my intention, and I had planned to tell you the truth later on, even though I didn\'t have a chance to.
I also want you to know that it\'s in the past now, the pain, the hurt, everything is in the past now. I have moved on, from them… from you. \'\'
\'\'No, please, don\'t… don\'t say it…\'\'
Jin Yue clutched his heart with his hand as the other hand palmed a handful of his hair. He felt a sizzling headache as his throat knotted.
\'\'I\'ve forgiven you Jin Yue, but I cannot be with you anymore…\'\'
As the words left her lips, a drop of tear fell from his eyes. Jin Yue shut his eyes tightly praying earnestly that what he just heard wasn\'t true.
\'\'You\'re a good person, Jin Yue, but it\'s sad that you aren\'t the one for me. I really loved you, Jin Yue, with all my heart. But even you know it would be foolish of me if I go back to you, after everything that has happened.
\'\'I don\'t want another person! Please, I don\'t want any other person, I\'m sorry, I\'m really sorry… I\'ll make it up to you…\'\'
Xin Yong had been holding in her tears, and at that moment, staring at his tear stained face; it was hard for her to continue holding it in. She immediately stood up from her seat.
\'\'I\'m sorry Jin Yue… Goodbye. \'\'
With that, she turned around and ran out of the restaurant.
\'\'No, no, please, I\'m sorry, please don\'t go…\'\'
Jin Yue stood up to chase after her, but was stopped by a waiter, who asked for the pay. He pulled out a wad of cash and threw it at him before racing after Xin Yong, just as he arrived outside, he saw her enter a taxi and speed away.
Jin Yue raced after the taxi in a bid to make her stop but the taxi sped away without faltering. He stood at a spot watching the car disappear into a distance, tears falling freely from his eyes.
He hadn\'t realized how much he wanted her back until he realized that he had lost her finally.
...
Xin Yong lay on her bed soaking her pillow with tears.
As soon as she got home, she regretted ending it with him.
Remembering the look on his face when he pleaded with her not to leave, when he told her he wanted just her…
It was too much to bear; she couldn\'t help crying over and over again.
She wished she hadn\'t known the truth; it would have been easier to forget him knowing he was a wicked and heartless bastard who had hurt her than knowing that he had just been jealous and had pleaded to be forgiven.
Xin Yong didn\'t know when she slept. When she woke up, she found herself hugging her pillow tightly. The events of the previous night came back to her slowly, making her sad all over again.
She busied herself for the rest of the day, not resting one bit. For the next two days, Xin Yong locked herself up in the studio, writing new songs and revisiting old ones, she didn\'t want to rest, knowing that any idle time would bring back those thoughts.
But even though she tried her best, she found herself spacing out sometimes, thinking about him. She hated herself for that, in fact for everything. Sometimes, she wished she hadn\'t even met him in the first place, the pain was quite unbearable.
…
\'\'Liling! Are you busy today? \'\'
Xin Yong called by eight am in the morning. Liling was surprised. She wasn\'t actually busy, but she had planned to stay in with Liu Wei since it was Sunday.
\'\'No, is there any problem? \'\'
\'\'let\'s go out, erm… let\'s go shopping, come pick me up, I\'m waiting for you! \'\'
She said and cut the call. Liling knew her friend and this was not sounding like her at all.
Something must have gone wrong…
\'\'Baby, have you heard from Jin Yue? \'\'