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275 I\'m never going back

When Liling rinsed her mouth, she stood by the sink briefly; ever since she left that morning, she had been feeling like vomiting. Maybe, it was because she missed him too much.

She stared at her reflection on the mirror for a while, before dragging herself out of the bathroom__

\'\'Are you okay? \'\'

Manager Su asked as soon as Liling sat back down on her seat.

\'\'Yeah, it\'s just a brief stomach upset but it\'ll go away soon. \'\'

Liling said, taking out a handkerchief from her handbag, she wiped her mouth with it.

\'\'Okay, but still, you should go to the hospital, just in case.\'\'

Liling nodded. She knew she was like that because she missed him and she would be okay in a few days, but she was not about to tell that to Manager Su.

After the meal, Liling went back home. After taking a shower, she lay on the bed staring at her phone. It was just past nine and Liu Wei was still yet to arrive in America. Bored, Liling dialed Xin Yong\'s number.

\'\'Finally, she called! So I\'m guessing Liu Wei\'s isn\'t around? \'\'

\'\'What! Xin Yong! How can you put that way, I missed you so I called…\'\'

\'\'But Liu Wei isn\'t around, am I wrong? \'\'

Liling rolled her eyes, Xin Yong always had a way of being right all the time.

\'\'No, he isn\'t. But really, I called because I missed you.\'\'

\'\'Don\'t worry I understand. So what\'s up? \'\'

Liling hugged her pillow closer; she could hear the clinking of plates.

\'\'Are you in the kitchen? \'\'

\'\'Yeah, I\'m washing plates. I got a letter from Jin Yue yesterday. \'\'

Liling, who had been lying down on the bed, sat up immediately.

\'\'What? What did you say? \'\' her eyes widened in surprise

Xin Yong giggled, \'\'I said, Jin Yue sent me a letter and some pictures. \'\'

\'\'Xin Yong; that\'s what I\'ve been trying to tell you all these while. Everything was a misunderstanding, really. Jin Yue didn\'t intend to hurt you, he made a mistake and he is truly sorry, he felt like dying when he knew you lost a child in the process…\'\'

\'\'Yeah, he said it on the letter. \'\' Xin Yong replied nonchalantly.

Liling furrowed her brows. She waited a while before continuing.

\'\'So…\'\'

\'\'So?\'\'

\'\'Have you forgiven him? \'\'

Xin Yong was quiet, after a moment she chuckled.

\'\'I\'m not a devil, Liling. Why would I not forgive him after that heartfelt letter and after knowing the truth? \'\'

\'\'Oh My! That\'s why I love you. Really, I never knew you would be able to forgive him and get back together again, it is…\'\'

\'\'I never said anything about getting back together…\'\'

Xin Yong interrupted.

\'\'What… I thought, I thought you said you forgave him? \'\'

Liling was frozen for a few seconds.

\'\'Xin Yong, please… he\'s really sorry, Jin Yue loves you so much.\'\'

\'\'And yet, he believed a picture without asking me? \'\'

Liling was dumbfounded when she heard her, after a while, she sighed;

\'\'He was overcome by jealousy, he wasn\'t thinking…\'\'

Xin Yong giggled. \'\'Liling, I can\'t be with Jin Yue, not anymore. I\'ve forgiven him, but at the same time, I\'ve moved on, and I\'m not planning on going back. \'\'

Liling was distraught; she could not believe that their beautiful relationship was over just like that? Didn\'t she feel anything for him? Was she giving him up just like that?

\'\'Xin Yong, how would you feel if he gets married to another woman? \'\'

Liling asked; she knew Xin Yong could not just stop loving him. Even when she didn\'t believe in love, their love_ hers\' and Jin Yue\'s had been a source of hope. There was love written in her eyes whenever she talked about him. The way she looked at him, her smile… it couldn\'t be over just like that?

Xin Yong did not reply immediately. She did not expect Liling to ask her such question, all of a sudden.

Xin Yong felt a sharp pang in her heart for a brief second. One thing was not having anything to do with him, but she never thought of him with another woman. Looking at another woman the way he looked at her…

If it was before the letter, she would not have any issues answering the question, but right now after knowing the truth, after realizing that loved her and still loves her, her throat felt very dry.

\'\'Xin Yong? \'\'

\'\'I\'ll… I\'ll wish him well; and a lot of kids too! He once mentioned that he loved children, I pray he gets plenty of them!\'\'

That was it! What she was looking for!

\'\'Xin Yong, you still remember that he wanted a lot of kids? Do you realize that you still love him?"

Xin Yong, who hadn\'t realized that she had said that, froze for a few seconds.

\'\'I don\'t\' love him\'\'

\'\'Xin Yong, you do! I know you do, please, everyone deserves a second chance…\'\'

\'\'I said I don\'t!! …\'\'

Xin Yong trembled a bit and backed away from the sink, she leaned on the counter and slid down, sitting on the kitchen floor. She could feel tears flooding her eyes, and she bit on her lower lip to hold it on. After a brief silence she spoke again;

\'\'Do you know that that is the most painful part? That someone has hurt you so much but you can\'t just hate him? Do you know how it hurts?

Liling, I can\'t make the same mistake twice. I don\'t know what else would happen but I don\'t want to put my heart out on the line again, I really don\'t trust myself to be able to take it. I forgive him, I get he was jealous, but his jealousy has cost him \'us\', I know I\'ll be able to get over him, I don\'t know how long, but I just know I\'ll be able to.