Chapter 4495 The Last Specters
From his relationships with his friends and lovers to the consequences of his more controversial actions, Ves felt as if he had gone through a shower of recriminations and accusations.
Nobody would feel good after enduring so much pressure.
Yet strangely enough, the pressure also made him feel stronger and more self-assured.
"Strange."
Ves recognized that he occasionally had a habit of avoiding conflict.
This usually happened when he did not wish to confront a difficult issue.
For a long time, this strategy worked, but whatever he was experiencing at this moment left him no choice but to confront his demons.
"Maybe it's for the better."
He felt as if he was undergoing a journey of self-reflection and self-actualization.
By accepting his deeds, letting go of his fears and removing the doubts that had dug into his mind, his mentality became clearer and more sober in a way that Ves found difficult to describe.
"It's as if… I'm cutting off the filth that has been holding me back." Ves murmured as he continued to float in a completely blank space.
The completely dull and featureless space did not match the energy and excitement coursing through his mind and body!
Ves had a winner's mentality right now. He felt like a champion for 'slaying' one demon after another. The high that was elevating his mood at the moment was similar to the times where he won a difficult design duel against a formidable rival mech designer.
Certainly, the more rational part of himself recognized that his answers were less than ideal.
They would not pass muster to everyone, as evidenced by the lack of agreement from specters such as that of Melinda Larkinson.
"So what?"
Ves already figured out that this unexplainable mental examination was mostly if not entirely about himself.
"The only person I need to convince is me." Ves patted the chestplate of his illusionary Unending Regalia. "As long as I am okay with it, everything is fine."
There was no higher authority that he needed to answer to. He rejected the existence of gods and prayed to no one. If he had any faith to speak of, then it probably revolved around the power of humanity.
"Humans are individually weak by nature, but any of them can ascend step by step until they become akin to gods."
Since Ves aimed to ascend to the same level one day, there was no reason for him to submit or surrender to any of the pretenders that claimed to hold dominion over reality!
Any pretender god that attempted to impose his own rules or morality to Ves would have no ground to stand on! There was no chink in the armor or weak point that could be exploited.
Ves only had faith in himself and his works!
There was no point for him to gain the approval of the masses either. Though he recognized how indispensable it was for him to conform to the society which he professed to serve, he rejected the notion that it was necessary for him to answer to the mob.
Whether it was the Larkinson Clan, the Golden Skull Alliance, the Hex Federation, the MTA or other large organization, Ves only cooperated with them because it was in his best interest to maintain those relationships.
Although he did not want to ruin his friendships and turn his back on the people who helped him out, he knew from personal experience that once a relationship was no longer beneficial for either side, it was best to cut any ties before a regretful incident took place.
"The cosmos is big. There are countless different groups and people in the old galaxy and the new frontier for me to associate with. The more powerful I become, the more I am able to gather like-minded people by my side. I will never have to give up my autonomy if the people I care about support my endeavors!"
This was one of the reasons why he chose to found the Larkinson Clan. If he didn't do so, then he would have either found himself isolated or forced to rein in his dreams and ambitions.
As Ves recalled his earlier talks with different specters, he found that he did not regret anything he said. He spoke from his heart and he wholeheartedly stood by his statements.
Perhaps he might not have the courage to repeat everything he said in front of other people in reality, but as long as he was able to convince himself of his own sincerity, then he remained internally consistent.
"Maybe that's the point of it all." Ves idly guessed. "Just like how expert pilots must cast aside all doubt and refine their will into a unidirectional force, I must also get my act together."
This was why he was wondering what came next. He already addressed all of the major doubts that he had tried to suppress. Whatever else was left shouldn't be important enough to merit a serious discussion.
He did not have to wonder for much longer, because the surroundings finally started to shift.
The blank space made way for a view that looked down at the entirety of the Milky Way and its satellite galaxies.
It was a grand view that made Ves feel both incredibly small and incredibly large.
He felt small because he knew that every concentration of light that he could spot with the naked eye likely represented multiple clusters of bright and powerful stars.
There were so many of these clusters that Ves could not even count them all. There were just so many of them, and when they were around each other, they formed a circular tapestry that became so enormous that Ves felt incomparably tiny in comparison.
On the other hand, he felt grand as if he had ascended beyond the realm where he previously resided.
Few people got to enjoy this view in their lives. Only the most powerful and special among humans might gain a similar opportunity to hover above the local galactic neighborhood and look down upon it as if they were gods.
As Ves became more inspired by the grand and magnificent sight, his heart became touched by the galaxies that maintained an active connection to him. Both the Milky Way and the Red Ocean began to resonate with him as if they were family!
The sensation was indescribable. He felt as if he was experiencing a subtle nirvana on a mental level as his consciousness and his spirit took in the energies provided by those galaxies.
Ves could hardly maintain a coherent state of mind during this soundless ritual. He communicated and conversed with the two galaxies on a level that was far removed from normal human speech.
It was as if the Milky Way and the Red Ocean had become his latest conversation partners!
"The galaxies… are alive!"
This was a ridiculous statement on its face. Nobody would believe in such an absurd statement, but Ves had worked with living mechs and products for many years.
He could recognize the signs of life.
Sure, the galaxies weren't 'alive' in a traditional sense that people could easily determine, but Ves was convinced that the galaxies were either alive or had a living component to their existences!
"They are the wellsprings of life. They are the forest where fauna and flora can flourish. They are the mother of all mothers."
Just like certain people had a tendency to anthropomorphize Old Earth as a female goddess that went by the name of Gaia, Ves almost had a tendency to do the same for the Milky Way and the Red Ocean!
Even though Ves was undergoing a grand sublimation that was changing the very structure of his most inner self, he managed to gain enough awareness to run his analytical mind.
He spontaneously formulated the Living Galaxy Theory and began to note down as many observations and hypotheses as he could come up with. There was no better opportunity for him to do so because he had a feeling that he might forget most of what he was experiencing once this process had run its course!
"The living galaxies are not only alive, but they possess an indeterminate amount of sentience and agency."
If the first half of the assumption was radical enough, then the latter part went way beyond what people could reasonably accept!
He essentially claimed that the Milky Way and the Red Ocean possessed the awareness of what was taking place and the desire to intervene.
Why else would the two galaxies be willing to start a wordless conversation with Ves if they weren't interested in communicating?
Given that they possessed their own needs and desires, Ves made a second assumption.
"Living galaxies have their own agendas. One of them should definitely be self-preservation."
It was a universal quality of life to preserve their own existence. Species that did not care about themselves would eventually endanger themselves to the point where they became extinct.
Since the galaxies existed for an awfully long time, it was logical to assume that they valued their own existences.
To what extent, Ves didn't know. He already knew that the Milky Way Galaxy and the Andromeda Galaxy were set to collide with each other in 4.5 billion years, but perhaps that was a natural part of their life cycles.
In any case, Ves felt strongly about his own survival, so he imagined that he had at least some common ground with the living galaxies.
As the less conscious parts of Ves continued to hold a grand dialogue with the two galaxies, his more conscious side attempted to figure out their personalities and agendas.
This was an exceedingly difficult endeavor!
Ves only touched a fraction of their great and vast existences, but already he felt as if he had come into contact with entities that were too powerful for him to properly interpret!
Whatever feelings, thoughts and emotions they possessed were either far too powerful for him to properly register, or too advanced and abstruse for Ves to be able to understand from a humble human perspective.
His humanity and mortality was limiting his ability to communicate with the living galaxies.
He was like an ant trying to converse with a CFA battleship!
The disparity in scale alone was so great that it was only through the benevolence of the Milky Way and the Red Ocean that Ves did not get crushed under their metaphorical weight!
Still, Ves was nothing if not stubborn. He tried his best to gather enough data, and managed to make a few readings that might be accurate.
"The Milky Way… is old. Scarred. It… is damaged, but unbroken. It… wants to mend its wounds and become whole and strong again."
Ves never thought of the Milky Way as a scruffed and anemic galaxy, but that was what he was vaguely able to interpret through his limited senses.
"The Red Ocean… is like… a body that is kept alive and empowered by its defining exotic. Its star systems are like organic cells and the alien races that travel from one location to another are like the veins that allow for phasewater to circulate throughout the dwarf galaxy."
Ves picked up a lot of other weird impressions, many of which didn't entirely make sense.
Nonetheless, despite the fact that Ves was one of many human intruders of the Red Ocean, the living dwarf galaxy did not appear to treat him as a virus that needed to be purged by its immune system.
The Red Ocean instead welcomed him into its embrace with open arms!
It was… touching in a way. Ves had no idea whether there were any specific agendas behind the acceptance of the two living galaxies, but that did not stop him from accepting their goodwill!
The only doubt in the more sober part of his mind was the price he needed to pay for treatment.
"Nothing comes for free."