BXBX NOVEL Chapter 67 - Dating
But she had just finished saying she valued physical intimacy as part of a relationship, not just void research for pleasure.
«You don't have to just because we had kids, Nate. There are many couples out there with kids and getting along as friends, right? There's no need to...»
«Lara, stop talking about the kids for a moment. I said I want to date you. It has nothing to do with the kids. I've waited six years to meet you again, and I didn't know about them all this time.»
«You waited...»
She was speechless. In the end, she did understand what Nate was trying to say. But she couldn't grasp what made him wait for her.
Was that fateful night so good? What did she do?
Would he feel disappointed after realising she really was drunk or drugged? Because she knew herself. She was clumsy and shy, especially in relationship matters.
She had no experience, and the only wild night of her life was deleted from her memory just like that.
«Are you sure, Nate? Even after meeting again?»
«Yes.»
He didn't add any words, hoping it would be enough. He gave her time to ponder, still holding her hand tenderly. They never left each other from the moment he touched her, and he wouldn't have been the first to let go.
He was happy like a pup. He would have wagged his tail even if he told Jaden not to do that.
That woman didn't know how special she was, which made her even more desirable.
Oh, everything about her would have been alluring, interesting, or cute for Nate. But he needed to set aside his feelings and talk with her, let her realise there was nothing wrong with her, with him, and with going out.
It was a long-term battle: he couldn't lose just because he found her lovely. It was his biased opinion, either way.
«I don't want to be a third party,» she declared in the end.
It was as if someone threw a bucket of water on him. Or a train hit him right in the chest.
It was a rejection, and it hurt. It hurt even more when he realised what she was saying.
«What third party?» he murmured. What did she think of him? He didn't see any woman while waiting for her! He was loyal.
«You have your own life, Nate. You shouldn't destroy it just because we appeared. I wouldn't like to ruin your relationship. It was a shock for both, I agree. And from the moment you appeared, I feel so much better! I'm not afraid my children will sleep on the street if I fail at finding a job! I know they will have enough food and clothes even if something happens to me. And that there's someone who can love them if I can't. It's enough for me, really. I don't need anything else.»
«But is that what you want? Relief? Really?» he burst out.
He let go of her hand and got up, taking a few steps to calm down.
How to explain to a woman who single-handedly raised two pups, giving them every inch of her energy, that she was a person as well? That she could be attractive and interesting as much as her pups?
That she had the right to look for happiness, for it wouldn't have transformed her into a bad mother?
He sat back on the bench, fearing to frighten her while standing. He knew he was tall while she was so frail.
«Do you want to hear what I want?» he said.
«Yes, of course.»
«My wish is to take strolls with you, talk about whatever while observing the sunset or the starry sky. Hold your hand whenever I want, and be able to kiss you before sleeping. I want to have meals with you, to see you smile... To be there and wipe your tears when you cry. To erase everything on your way to make you happy.»
«Isn't this a little too much?» she replied, tilting her head. Moreover, he didn't mention the pups in his long confession.
«It's how I feel. But you might not reciprocate, I know.»
She didn't reply, making it too obvious that her feelings weren't as powerful as his. Not yet, at least.
Just being attracted to each other meant nothing. She had given birth to his children, so she just assumed her body was playing a trick.
Someone like Nate didn't need to tie with her, in the end. He could have any woman in the world.
«That's why I came here to ask for a date,» he continued. «Because you can't know right now if you want to marry me.»
«You have marriage in mind?»
«Yes, I do. I want to date, start a relationship. And, if things proceed the right way, marry and have a family together.»
That way, he would have the pups settled as well as his mate by his side forever. It was a future worth fighting for.
Even if he had to suffer on the way, he would have accepted it.
«You want to go on dates. With me.» Lara repeated his words, blinking and looking for other potential meanings.
But it was so clear that she couldn't just pretend to misunderstand.
There was just a little issue she couldn't get over.
Even if she was desperate, she had already accepted she wouldn't get married after giving birth to the cubs. There was no way she could compromise in a relationship.
«But I don't want to be a third party, Nate. Nor to split a couple. Even if it's hard to believe, I don't want to be that kind of woman.»
«What third party, Lara? I can't look at any woman other than you! I wouldn't betray you for anything in the world.»
«And Samantha?» she inquired, tilting her head.
She wasn't as stupid as not to notice the little details.
Nate sighed. What had Samantha to do with them?
Did his mate like women as well? If that was the case, he couldn't allow her to work in any department far from his watch.