学校成绩差当公共坐便器

Chapter 17

Once Huang Xiaotao and I got out of the music room, we were immediately met with an angry-looking Dali.

“That old man Qin is a big fat liar!” he said, full of indignation. “Don’t worry, Xiaotao-jiejie! Even though you’ve been kicked out of the team, Song Yang and I will always support you!”

“Thank you, both of you!” said Huang Xiaotao with a forced smile. It wasn’t easy for her, who was just minutes ago the head of the team tasked to investigate the case, yet now had become a lonely solo hero with whacky sidekicks like Dali and me.

“But I don’t understand,” said Dali, “how a mere coroner can have so much power to oust the head of the task force like you. I thought coroners are supposed to stay in the morgue all day, only dealing with the corpse and not living people. In fact, I thought most coroners are sexy, glamorous ladies wearing white lab coats.”

“Those only exist in movies and dramas, Dali,” I said. “Coroners do have authority and power in real life, and they’re not just cooped up in the morgue either. They’re not only required to write a medical report on the deceased, but they would be at the crime scene with the police officers and participate in the investigation as well. Apart from that, they’re the ones to present the evidence obtained and testify in court.”

“You really do know a lot, don’t you?” commented Huang Xiaotao.

“Well, I am a Traditional Coroner, after all,” I said. Naturally, I’d be motivated to find out all these things.”

“A coroner’s rank is equivalent to a Commisioner’s,” Huang Xiaotao explained. “That’s two whole ranks above me. Dr. Qin is basically the same rank as Captain Lin.”

“Ah, that explains a lot!” Dali said, nodding.

“So Captain Lin is your boss?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Then who’s his boss?”

“That would be the Chief Captain of the branch...”

“And his boss?”

“Director Sun!”

“Who’s Director Sun?”

“His name is Sun Hu,” Huang Xiaotao explained. “Because his temper is a thing of terror, we all call him Sun Tiger behind his back.”

When I heard that name, I couldn’t help but laugh. The last time I met Uncle Sun was about three years ago. I didn’t expect him to rise through the ranks so quickly, but there you have it! He was the Director now! These three years must’ve been good to him.

“What’s so funny?” asked Huang Xiaotao.

“Nothing,” I said. “I just thought the name Sun Tiger to be funny.”

“That laugh is suspicious though!” she remarked.

I didn’t make any replies to that. Huang Xiaotao went silent for a while and then let out a despondent sigh.

“The police officers at the crime scene must’ve informed Dr. Qin of your discoveries by now,” she said. “That means that he knows as much as we do, but has more police officers at his beck and call, not to mention having access to much more resources than we have. It’s pretty clear that he’d solve the case before us.”

“Don’t you have any confidence in me?” I asked.

“Of course I do,” she answered, pouting. “But I thought you’re only good at autopsies. Can you do investigations too?”

“I guess we’ll find out soon!” I said.

“Why did you have to make that bold a bet anyway?” Huang Xiaotao asked worriedly. “What’s going to happen if you lose?”

“Don’t worry,” I said. “I’ve solved most of the case when I was examining the corpse earlier. There are only a few minor questions left that I need to figure out.”

“Really?” she asked. “How confident are you that you will solve the case?”

“A hundred percent!” I answered with a confident smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll definitely help you solve it, and we’ll do it before Dr. Qin too!”

Huang Xiaotao was visibly moved.

“We’ve only known each other for slightly more than an hour,” she said. “Yet you’ve been of so much help to me. How can I ever thank you?”

“A dinner is enough!” I answered.

“What?” she asked, her eyes widened. She probably thought I was asking her to go on a date with me. Once she realized that I really meant just a dinner, she said, “Okay, when we’re done with the case, just name a place! I’ll treat both of you to a meal!”

“Great!” said Dali, clapping his hands with excitement. “Then let’s have McDonald’s!”

I gave Dali the stink eye. To poor college students like us, McDonald’s was a bit too fancy, especially since Huang Xiaotao volunteered to pay for the meal herself. A cheaper fare like barbecued meat or Haidilao hotpot would have sufficed.

Once we reached the dormitory building that the two girls from earlier stayed, there was a big sign saying ‘Girl’s Dormitory, No Boys allowed’ hanging at the gate.

Dali said there was no way we’d be allowed in, but I told him to go ask the dorm warden if Fangfang and Tiantian are here.

After a while, Dali came stomping out with a face darkened by anger.

“That bastard!” he cursed. “That scheming old cow! He snatched away the two important witnesses! Dude, why did you have to announce it to him that we’re coming here? Now what are we going to do?”

I cracked up, holding my belly as I howled in laughter.

The other two looked at each other in puzzlement and asked me what was so funny.

“What a simple-minded old man,” I said. “I’d intentionally said we were going to talk to the two witnesses so he would think that I meant these two girls. I can’t believe he took my bait!”

“What do you mean?” asked Huang Xiaotao. “Aren’t these girls important witnesses? Their accounts were so different from what we eventually found out, so doesn’t that mean that they’re hiding something from us? Something incredibly important?”

“Not at all,” I said. “In fact, we could do completely without them, because they didn’t witness what had actually happened. What they witnessed was a scene in a play orchestrated by the murderer. Talking to them would only waste our time.”

“Then what are you going to do now?”

“We’ll check out Deng Chao’s dorm.”

“Holy shit, dude!” exclaimed Dali. “You’re really not bad at all! I’ve known you for so long, but I feel I only got to know you today! You’re like a mysterious puzzle that looks easy on the surface but is actually really hard to solve.”

“Dude,” I said, “you’ve been acting weird all day today, what with the praising and all. Don’t tell me you’ve got the same preferences as Lao Yao?”

“No, no, no! No homo, bro!” said Dali. “And don’t associate me with that pervert!”

“What are you guys talking about?” asked Huang Xiaotao. She then let out a long sigh. “Perhaps I’ve been spending too much time working and not enough time socializing. I simply don’t understand anything you guys are saying.”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “We were just talking about a friend of ours.”

Lao Yao was somewhat of a legend in our faculty. He was a genius hacker who happened to be a pervert. Now, you might say that all men are to some extent a pervert deep down, but Lao Yao’s perversion was slightly different from that of other men. He had absolutely no interest in pretty girls but was more into handsome young men. And that was why guys stay away from him.

And so Lao Yao became our by-word for when any of us are acting a bit out of character.

“Speaking of Lao Yao,” I said to Dali, “can you please go ask him a favor while Huang Xiaotao and I head to Deng Chao’s dorm?”

“What?!” Dali reacted as if he were a cat whose tail had been stepped on. “No, no, no, dude! Don’t do this to me! Don’t you remember how he took a nude picture of you when you forgot to lock your door when you sleep?”

I silently cursed at Dali for bringing up that dark and embarrassing chapter of my life. I’d worked so hard to leave a good impression on Huang Xiaotao, but now that she’d begun to think of me as a smart and reliable young man, the idiot Dali had to break the illusion with this revelation.

And just as I feared, Huang Xiaotao began to look at me with a different expression...

“Shut up!” I stopped Dali from blabbering on. “I have no idea what you’re talking about! Anyway... there’s no one else who can help us with this. We have no other choice.”

I then pulled out an evidence bag from my pocket, and inside the transparent plastic bag was the deceased’s cell phone.

“Song Yang!” Huang Xiaotao exclaimed. “Did you sneak a piece of evidence out of the crime scene?”

“No, no,” I said, “I didn’t mean to, I swear! I casually put it into my pocket earlier and just forgot about it! If it’s going to cause you problems later, then I’ll run to Dr. Qin and give it to him right now!”

“No,” she said, suddenly laughing, “there’s no need for that. We found this evidence, so it’s only right that it’s here with us. I just didn’t expect you to be the kind of person to play dirty!”

It was really an accident, though. There were so many police officers there, not to mention that boastful coroner, and I was no magician, so even if I wanted to, there was no way I could’ve snuck a piece of evidence out without anyone noticing.

Dali’s face suddenly turned grave and even fearful.

“Dude,” he said, “don’t tell me you’re going to ask Lao Yao to help you unlock the phone?”

“Not just to unlock the phone,” I said, “This phone should be Deng Chao’s, and I think there might be some information in there that had been locked or deleted, and these are invaluable clues to help us solve the case. I’m afraid there’s no one better to help us than the genius hacker himself!”

After a long pause, Dali nodded and told me that he got it now. He grabbed the phone from my hand and took a deep breath.

“For you, my friend,” he proclaimed, “I’m ready to risk everything – even my virginity!”

1. As you might remember from Chapter 1, the Chinese character of Officer Sun’s name literally means tiger.