漫画大王

Chapter 237 [Illustration]

When I arrived at the large front gate and explained that I was there looking for someone, they didn’t even consider opening the gate. Instead, a small side window was opened, through which I was informed that this was a restricted area for men.

Having rushed over without proper planning, I found myself entangled in a mess. Returning to the Temple would certainly take time, and now I couldn’t even enter the convent.

Bang, Bang!

“I’m not trying to get in! Just call Adriana out here! Tell her a fellow Temple student is here and wants to talk. She’ll come out!”

—Sister Adriana has made it clear she does not wish to see anyone from the Temple. Please leave.

‘She doesn’t want to meet anyone from the Temple? What on earth happened?’

“Come on, just pass the message along. Don’t the sisters of Ouen have any kindness in them?”

There was a long silence from beyond the door.

‘... Did I go too far, talking about the sisters of Ouen like that?’

—What is your name?

“Reinhart.”

—Don’t expect a favorable response.

“Ah, yes. Thank you.”

It seemed the nun was leaving to relay the message, and so I leaned my back against the austere, towering wall of the convent, staring blankly at the moon.

‘What should I do... Adriana’s issue is one thing, but... I think I’ve messed up big time again.’

I’d rushed over without telling anyone where I was going. What if the Temple realized I was missing and there was an uproar? Ellen might actually kill me this time... I should have at least informed someone.

‘Maybe I lost my mind because of the news about Adriana’s sudden withdrawal.’

I had definitely acted without thinking it through.

‘What should I say when I get back? Well, if I return as quickly as possible, everything should be fine, but how will I deal with the warp gate queue? Just being a Temple student isn’t going to help.’

After a significant amount of time had passed, the small door next to the main gate cautiously opened.

“... Junior.”

Adriana stood there with a weary expression.

***

Adriana looked quite fitting in the well-tailored black and white habit of a nun.

She also fit well in the Temple uniform.

Back then, I thought she had a very modern beauty, but now, in the habit, she seemed... Pure, if that was the right word, or perhaps very neat.

The habit really suited Adriana’s perpetually neat and tidy image.

Despite saying that she wouldn’t see anyone from the Temple, she had come to meet me outside the convent upon hearing that I was there.

“I wasn’t going to come out initially. But since it’s you... I wasn’t sure what you might do...”

Who knew that my history of crazy, unpredictable actions would come in handy?

Adriana looked like she had been through a lot of emotional turmoil; her expression was quite grim.

“What about the Temple?” she asked.

‘Even now, she’s worried about me.’

“That’s not the main issue right now.”

I was worried about how to get back to the Temple too, and what they might do to me if I couldn’t get back in time, but the issue at hand took precedence. The grass around the hill surrounding the monastery had turned brown and was gently swaying in the breeze.

“Let’s take a walk,” Adriana suggested.

Adriana began to walk slowly, and I followed beside her.

The Adriana who was so dedicated to her training now looked so different in her monastery garb. Her aura was that of someone who wouldn’t know anything about fighting, someone who might live a lifetime without ever encountering violence.

“Somehow I had a feeling you might come, junior.”

“Really?”

“Yes, you’re always sticking your nose into things.”

I had meddled in a lot of things before, and clearly, she had expected me to do the same in this situation.

“That’s not exactly a compliment.”

“I didn’t mean it as a compliment,” Adriana said with a faint smile.

“So, why did you leave the Temple?”

“It’s just the conclusion I reached after thinking for a long time.”

“Nothing happened specifically during the group mission?”

“... Something did happen, but I had already been thinking about it. Though, when it actually happened, the feelings were different.”

Adriana had seemed troubled before.

Over the summer break, she’d looked as though she were struggling with something, and finally made some kind of resolution.

She had also seemed distressed because someone among her classmates liked her, and she couldn’t return those feelings.

“Ard told me he likes me,” Adriana said as she looked at me.

Ard de Grittis... The second-year student who had challenged me to a duel.

‘So he’s the one who likes Adriana.’

“I told him I couldn’t accept his feelings.”

“... Did he do something to you?”

Adriana shook her head sadly. “No, nothing like that. Ard isn’t a violent person. But after that, I realized that I couldn’t stay at the Temple any longer. It’s just... that’s how it is.”

She hadn’t had a confrontation with Ard.

“Is it such a big deal to make you decide to leave the Temple?”

Adriana looked silently at me for a moment.

“Reinhart,” she finally said, looking deeply troubled. “This isn’t the first time something like this has happened.”

Adriana had previously mentioned having a similar experience with an Orbis Class student.

It wasn’t just Ard. Adriana had been repeatedly dealing with such problems. Had she grown tired of it?

Adriana gazed quietly back at the monastery.

“Reinhart, I’ve lived my whole life in this monastery.”

With that, she began telling a completely different story.

The Art-Ouen Convent... A place where men were forbidden.

“In this monastery, among the women who live their entire lives here, there are those who never see a man from birth to death. If orphans are brought to this convent at a very young age, it’s entirely possible.”

To never see a member of the opposite sex their whole lives... It was possible in this monastery, assuming they never engage in any external activities.

Wasn’t that like imprisoning oneself in a cage forever, though?

I couldn’t understand why someone would live like that. Adriana seemed to understand my confusion and shook her head.

“There are some people who find satisfaction in this kind of life. Rather than pursuing worldly desires, they dedicate their lives to faith, study, and spiritual training, and they are perfectly content with that.”

It was possible to live a lifetime in such a massive but confined space, forsaking many of the basic human desires. There were people who lived that way.

‘Why is Adriana talking about this?’

“Reinhart, I left the monastery for the first time last year.”

Adriana had not attended any lower grades in the Temple, but joined the Royal Class directly during its high school programme. That means she’d lived in the convent until she was seventeen.

“Not only did I see a man for the first time, but I also entered a world where my entire life wasn’t filled with religious doctrine, interpretation, and prayer. I encountered people with entirely different thoughts and completely different values from mine.”

Adriana walked gently through the brown moonlit meadow, the grass rustling softly as she passed by.

She seemed like a seeker. She walked quietly, like someone searching for something, though I didn’t know what.

“I learned so many things. That there are so many different kinds of people in the world, so many foolish things, so many delicious foods, so many miraculous things. There are so many joyful feelings, and so many unhappy ones. The world is... The world is...

“The world is, so beautiful.”

Adriana looked up at the sky.

“Yes. I realized that this world, filled with things I had never seen before, has its share of sadness, but even more so, it is filled with good and happy things.” she continued.

Adriana seemed delighted by the beauty of the world she had experienced outside the convent.

“I wanted to be friendly with everyone, so I treated everyone warmly, trying to be kind to everyone. But some people misunderstood my intentions. Or maybe it wasn’t a misunderstanding. I didn’t know where the line was between treating someone as a friend and showing interest in someone romantically.”

In her early days at the Temple, Adriana must have been similar to Ellen in some ways, although different in others.

Ellen didn’t interact with people because she didn’t know how to, but Adriana, despite not knowing how, had tried to be kind and friendly to everyone. Perhaps she had gone a bit over the top.

“Because of this, quite often, someone would confess their feelings to me, and I would have to reject them, explain to them that I couldn’t because I was destined to become a priestess of Ouen. Then they’d resent me, demanding to know why I had been so nice to them, why I had made them misunderstand.”

Her actions, which were simply meant to be friendly, were misunderstood by others. It seemed that, during her first year, Adriana had experienced various troubles both within and outside the Royal Class.

Although it must have hurt, Adriana seemed to have worked hard to maintain the boundaries between herself and others.

However, one cannot simply stop feelings from arising.

Ard liked Adriana. He had confessed his feelings, and Adriana, growing tired of having to repeat the same series of events over and over, decided to leave the Temple.

“That’s not all. There are others who have feelings for the very people whose feelings I can’t accept, and they resent me for it. I’ve also had to deal with horrible rumors.”

Adriana’s eyes were filled with sorrow.

I couldn’t be sure if she was talking about Ard.

Adriana couldn’t accept Ard’s feelings, but someone else might have liked Ard, and that person might have grown to dislike Adriana.

What could those terrible rumors be?

Adriana didn’t specify what kind of rumors they were, but they sounded nasty and unpleasant even to mention.

Adriana had been struggling all along, and I had no idea about it.

“I was ignorant about a lot of things, and I still am,” she continued. “I try to do better, but it’s hard.”

Adriana, who seemed to be good at everything and got along well with everyone, was actually suffering.

Though I was actually older than her, I had completely misunderstood her.

In my eyes, she was a senior student who seemed competent in everything, so I believed she could manage anything.

I assumed she could handle things on her own, but Adriana had been having a tough time dealing with people and was struggling, trying to figure out how to get along with everyone.

Unfortunately, she was getting hurt in the process.

“When I was in the convent, I was satisfied just with that. It was my world. I didn’t know anything else.”

But once she’d seen the outside world, Adriana could not remain the same.

“There are so many things in this world. There are things that require someone’s help to fix, and I might be the one to provide it. If you asked me to live in the convent for the rest of my life, I probably couldn’t. I’ve thought about it. But there’s no need for me to do that. The Mother Superior hoped I would do more in the world.”

Adriana wasn’t being forced to become a nun.

“Initially, I thought I could endure these problems. My goal was to join the Order of the Holy Knights. I thought enduring these struggles and graduating from the Temple to join the Order of the Holy Knights was my calling in life.”

Adriana had wanted to join the Order of the Holy Knights. She’d admired them enough to watch them as they returned from the Dark Land.

“But now, I’m not so sure. Senior Olivia gave up her faith, and the leader of the Order of the Holy Knights tried to torture his own daughter. Learning these things made me question... is this really the right path?”

This was yet another ripple, another manifestation of the butterfly effect.

Adriana had willingly suffered these personal struggles because of her goal of joining the Order of the Holy Knights. However, learning that the Order of the Holy Knights was not the ideal organization she’d thought they were had caused her to question her path.

Though Olivia had abandoned her faith, Adriana was still wrestling with her beliefs, and she had been suffering all this time because of it.

Now that her goal was no more, she saw no reason to endure the problematic life at the Temple.

“In the end, though, I’ve decided to stay in the convent for the rest of my life.”

She had grown tired of trying to balance her relationships with others.

Because of the interest shown in her and the malice and rumors arising from it, Adriana had ultimately decided to return to her roots.

“I don’t want to learn any more about things I don’t know. I just want to stay here, where I’m comfortable with the things I understand.”

After all the misunderstandings and lack of comprehension, and with her goal now gone, Adriana saw no reason to endure her life at the Temple.

She had witnessed Olivia abandon her faith. She had come to know too many things she didn’t want to know. And so, she had chosen to return to the convent before she could learn even more.

Adriana looked at me.

“I told Ard that I can’t reciprocate his feelings simply because I’m not in a position where I’m able to do so. I told him that I was really sorry, but I couldn’t accept his feelings. I always say the same thing when I reject someone,” she said, her eyes filled with sorrow.

“It’s not Ard’s fault. It’s not the fault of those who liked me. It’s probably my fault—for not maintaining proper boundaries and making people misunderstand... For acting the way I did. It’s my fault.”

‘It’s not your fault either.’

I wanted to say that, but I couldn’t bring myself to.

She was blaming herself, retreating into self-recrimination. She wasn’t hating anyone else; she was just hating herself.

“Junior,” she said as she looked at me quietly, “you can’t be friends with everyone.”

It sounded like a warning from someone who had already failed. Warning me not to become like her. Not to dream such dreams. A warning filled with regret.

I couldn’t bring myself to ask Adriana, who had found only pain at the Temple, to return to the Temple.