BXBX NOVEL Chapter 271 - [16th Round] Bidet Master
Chapter 271 - [16th Round] Bidet Master
□ Mother: Have you by any chance gone insane? (7:32)
Hmm…
I already told her I was fine and even sent her photos to go along with it, yet she was still asking me such questions.
At least she still sent the blueprints.
They were quite detailed, too.
Take, for example, a computer case, which contained the motherboard, hard drive, processor, ram sticks, video card, and so on.
The general guide would simply show the owner how to set it all up.
However, the manual I got included the production methods of its components.
“I know a little about life on your planet, but is it that easy to get such detailed blueprints?”
“No.”
What I requested weren’t state secrets, albeit they weren’t readily available to the general public either.
However, my mother still found and sent them.
Charger, generator, bidet.
Judging from her response time, it didn’t take long for her to collect the data I needed. She even sent blueprints for several types of generators!
I wasn’t complaining, but it was suspicious. Her reply to my request turned out to be even better than I thought.
“No wonder your mother keeps praising her daughter-in-law. I think she did her best,” said Ssosia while lying next to me and looking at my smartphone’s screen.
“How do you know it’s her?”
“Female intuition.”
The most unreliable variable in the universe!
Slam!
Using the Vault skill, I summoned high-quality paper from the angels’ treasury and copied the blueprints.
Writing materials weren’t even necessary.
Bzzzzzz!
Fantasy skills and resources made the copies look like they were printed through a printer.
“They won’t disappear even if I undergo regression.”
I used paper from the Festival of Heroes.
That dimension was independent of the Fantasy World. Hence, items originating from it remained even after the Hero died and was resurrected.
I had to change my smartphone 43 times since their batteries constantly ran out of charge, but the result was worth it.
“Should we go to the dwarves now, my merciless hubby?”
Dwarves were indeed master craftsmen.
With detailed blueprints and the necessary materials provided, they could create anything. However…
“I, the MAX-Class Demon Lord, am not the same as the vile dragons who treat dwarves like slaves.”
Dragons had been suppressing the dwarves and forcing them to create whatever they desired by threatening them with their superior combat power. I didn’t plan on doing the same.
“What now, then?”
“I have a better idea.”
I spread the wings of the righteous hero.
***
“The Demon Lord is here!”
“The Demon Lord is attacking!”
“God have mercy upon us!”
I had arrived at the city of El Molando in the northern part of the Central Continent.
Not the homeland of the great Master Mollan, but a city floating in the sky that served as the evil angels’ natural habitat.
Angels were the complete opposite of demons’ existences. They weren’t included in the primary education course, while demons were seen as absolute evil. Likewise, El Molando, the city of angels, didn’t exist either.
However, that completely changed in the secondary education course, which allowed heroes to personally assess the concept of good and evil by comparing demons to the angels that appeared in the curriculum.
“It was nonsensical, though.”
These hens were mean and disingenuous.
There was no need to think too hard about it.
“Demon Lord Parmamon, refrain from reckless behavior and leave this place right this instant. You have no business being here.”
An angel, dressed in a thin white cloth with a black blindfold covering her eyes, pointed the tip of her sword at me as she threatened me, her voice sounding audacious and defiant.
? Race: Battle Angel
? Level: 999+
? Job: Executioner (Faith → Retribution ↑)
? Skills: Faith ZZ, Divinity ZZ, Justice Z, Flight Z, Regeneration Z…
? Status: Prayer, Blessing, Empowerment, Protection
Her powerful stats reinforced her audacity.
Considering the strength of my counterparts in the secondary education course, I could safely say that one or two of their kind would be enough to rid the world of the Demon Lord. They wouldn’t even need the Hero’s help.
There were far more than just one or two of them, after all.
“For divine dignity!”
“For divine honor!”
“For divine courage!”
Men and women, clad in the same white cloth as the Battle Angel, gathered behind her, demonstrating the power of love and friendship.
I counted at least a hundred chicken heads.
Their overall combat ability was a stark contrast to the Demon Lord’s army, in which only Grand Duke B stood out.
“Is Director Parmamon even in her right mind?”
The difference in power was too great.
My copies waiting back in the castle would simply evaporate the moment they fired their rays at them.
Where was the logic in this at all?
“Her name is Parmael. You’re Parmamon…” Ssosia said, hovering nearby in the air with the help of her violet ethereal wings.
“Tsk! The similarities of our names confuse me.”
“It’s your fault.”
“Whose side are you even on, my cowardly wife?”
“This isn’t even about taking sides. You’re just objectively at fault here.”
Noticing that I ignored their warning, the angels immediately unfurled their white wings and enveloped their unprotected bodies with Divinity. Not long after, they rushed at me like eagles swooping in to pierce through their prey as pure white light covered their weapons.
Admittedly, they were powerful.
In the past, only the Phantom King Shakespeare managed to surprise me, which he did by reviving the First Hero’s Party, but there weren’t many real fighters there.
However, all the chickens before me were warriors.
Who were they anyway?
? Description: They’re executioners. Their eyes are covered with a black cloth, symbolizing that they have become evil to punish evil, and they remain blindfolded until the day they die. Since Divinity is deceptive and multifaceted, angels tend to be lazy and arrogant, but the executioners are different. They train for eight hours every day.
Eight hours every day! That amount was believable and realistic. I wouldn’t have believed it if I were told they trained all day.
By the time Trainee Teacher finished her explanation, the angels were already right before me.
Since I was in the secondary education course, my copy had ZZ-rank Dark Energy. But in front of me was a whole crowd of ZZ-ranked Divinity chickens.
If I fought with my skills alone, my defeat would’ve been inevitable!
It was no wonder my father-in-law never left the castle.
CLICK!
But that was only true in his era. Having learned the secret of controlling dark matter in exchange for having to put up with his cowardly daughter, I could demonstrate powers that went beyond skill.
It was all thanks to my mentor, Grand Master Mollan.
My power was absolute and couldn’t be expressed through mere numbers.
“Aaaaaghhhh!!!”
“Huh?!”
As soon as I snapped my fingers, dark matter vibrated, causing a slight resonance.
The angels immediately fell.
Divine reflection?
This wasn’t an attack.
Although I distorted space itself, it was nothing more than a side effect caused by manipulating and controlling dark matter.
Everything in our world was in space, like a drawing on paper.
Divinity could defend against attacks aimed at the drawing within this paper, but what about attacks from the table on which the paper was placed?
If the table surface were uneven, the image would be distorted, regardless of how high the paper’s quality was.
Dark matter was the table.
Underneath the paper hid a world far larger with a much heavier role.
“I don’t like the fact that my father-in-law shoved his cowardly daughter on me, but the compensation I got in exchange is quite useful.”
I gained the technique the Demon Lord Pedonar had been studying throughout his seemingly eternal imprisonment.
“My father’s special technique… is some kind of fraud.”
“All thanks to Master Mollan!”
I had perfected it.
Power, range, cast time, cooldown…
In all respects, my version had surpassed the original.
“Mollan-Mollan~”
“No need to humbly sway, pretending not to know anything about this, Master Mollan.”
His facade could easily fool stupid fantasy savages, but it wouldn’t work on his own apprentice.
“Um… I think your mom was right in hinting that you’ve gone insane…”
“I am perfectly fine.”
What happened to the impudent chickens who tried to punish me?
Fuk!
Bam!
Knock! Knock!
Clap!
They fell one after another, their feathers fluttering all over the place.
Some of the angels were able to survive and recuperate through regeneration, but those whose hearts or brains were crushed died instantly, giving them no chance of recovery.
But that was okay.
“We shall become one~ become my EXP~?”
Those who turned into my experience points would stay with me forever.
“Where did he get such a power?”
“Impossible…”
“This can’t be…”
The surviving hens, running away from me, uttered phrases as if they found my dominance far too strange.
Hence, I decided to remind them of my existence.
“I am the Demon Lord.”
I was the final boss who awaited the Hero at the end of their journey.
It was only natural for me to be powerful beyond comprehension.
There was no point in asking the Demon Lord, “Why are you so strong?”
“You are destined to fall at the hands of the Hero!”
“Judgment day will one day fall upon your unfortunate soul!”
“The Demon Lord is not destined to win!”
“Brothers and sisters! Destiny is on our side!”
“Forward! Victory will be ours!”
The angels regrouped and charged again.
Those who believed in such superstitions had but one fate awaiting them.
CLICK.
We would become one.
***
“Greetings, beautiful, strong-spined angel. I imagined the best blacksmith in El Molando to be a shaggy, bearded middle-aged man. I wasn’t expecting that title to belong to such a beautiful lady.”
“Hmph! Dastardly demon, did you come here to have me shove your ugly face in the smelter?”
“Hahaha!”
The chicken before me was as cocky as she was beautiful.
I thought she’d be able to do the job.
“Look behind you, cowardly husband. You do know you’ve caused quite the massacre on your way to this forge?”
“What are you talking about?”
Such atrocities were committed only by the Hero’s companions, who liked to make strange bets like making whoever got the least kills to pay for dinner.
Unlike them, I, akin to a river stream, went around obstacles as I chased after my goal.
“Call it what you want, but you shouldn’t expect cooperation from her.”
“Hmph! At least the Demon Lord’s wife understands the situation. I will never cooperate with the very being who killed my people! The only thing I’m willing to hit this hammer with for you is your skull!”
I cocked my head to one side.
“It was self-defense. I came to place an order at the forge, and the wild angels attacked me first.”
“Hmph! That’s the kind of logic you can only show off in front of a slime!”
Did she just look down on slimes? Slimes were an incomparably good-natured race compared to the evil angels.
“Please talk some sense into this angel, Master Mollan!”
“Mollan? Mollan!”
She had best heard him. Whenever Master Mollan spoke, it was best not to get distracted.
“Stop your pathetic attempts already, you despicable Demon Lord. I will never accept your order—mmm?!”
I covered the beautiful angel’s lips with mine.
I didn’t just find her externally glamorous.
I liked her strong lumbar spine. She was a master of her field, making it foolish to get rid of her.
“Squelch!”
“Mmm?!”
I sucked the blacksmith angel’s Divinity out of her, then pushed Dark Energy down her throat slowly, ensuring she wouldn’t choke.
Henceforth, I appointed her as the bidet master.