Chapter 153 - Insecurities
"Maybe I want to invite trouble," she whispered back before sliding her hand on his chest. "I don\'t like the way she looks at you."
Understanding who she was talking about, Bojing wrapping his arms around her waist and chuckled, "Hmm so is Mrs Mo jealous?"
"Uh huh, am I not allowed to?"
"Of course you are but there is nothing to be jealous of, you are my one and only honey."
Suyan blushed and lowered her head. Biting her lower lip, she ran her fingers through the collar of his t-shirt. "I know that our relationship did not start off well. We both were very distant in the beginning as we barely knew each other. I know that your parents and grandpa pushed you to marry me. I don\'t know what kind of relationship you shared with your ex and I am not interested in it either. I believe living in the present and for the future. We are together now and that is what matters to me but I understand that you had to leave her because of me. I may sound evil but I am glad that you left her."
Bojing chuckled and pinched the tip of her nose. He loved how honest she was with him. Their relationship had actually taken a positive turn which brought them more close which felt so good. Everything about her felt so good.
"I love how caring and attentive you have been since the very beginning. I have always loved the protective and caring vibe that you gave me. Maybe I wasn\'t that important to you in the very beginning but you still took care of me and made me feel happy. Despite your cold and aloof personality," Placing her hand on his chest, Suyan continued, "I always knew that you have a heart of gold where I always wished to have a special place. Maybe a tiny little one but I wanted to be there."
Wrapping her arms around his waist, she placed her head on his chest and sighed, "Though we have been married for more than a year now but I have always felt very insecure. I always felt like someone will just barge in and take you away from me. Like far far away and I won\'t be able to do anything because I always felt like I have no right to stop you. You made me feel loved but you also made me feel insecure and no matter how much tried, that insecurity never left my heart until you decided to make a move."
Lifting her head up, she smiled. "When you started acting weirdly—"
Cutting her off, Bojing puffed his cheeks, "Weirdly? Don\'t call it weird."
Poking his cheeks, Suyan chuckled, "Okay so when you started acting all cute and clingy, I swear Bojing you freaked me out. I sometimes thought that maybe you slipped and hit your head on something. I loved the new you but it also scared me. I was afraid that what if you switch over being the same Bojing again? Cold and aloof who secretly cared for me. I panicked even more when you started hugging me to sleep. The thought of not being hugged by you when I am sleeping scared me."
Tiptoeing, she gave him a peck on his lips and smiled, "But slowly when I realised that this was permanent and it would never change, I felt so happy and blessed because being close to you and with you is all that I wanted."
Clutching onto his shirt, she blushed and continued, "I have never said this before because I thought that you would never care or want to know how I feel for you but I have always had a secret crush on you and I have no idea when that secret crush turned into love. You make my heart beat faster and make me feel breathless at times. When you are happy, I feel happy. When you are sad, I feel sad and when you are angry, I feel scared and shattered. I don\'t know how, when and where I fell in—"
Placing her hand on her mouth, Bojing prevented her from saying anything further.
"Please, don\'t say it. You can take everything from me Suyan. I can give you every inch of me but don\'t take away this moment and privilege from me."
Removing his hand, he chuckled, "I know I am mean but I won\'t let you say it before I do."
Holding both her hands, he kissed them simultaneously. "When I married you, I had no hope from this marriage. I always felt responsible for you but I have no idea when this responsibility turned into affection and when my affection turned into fondness. I always ended up spending hours thinking about you and the different light I had started seeing you in but before I could figure out what it was, I had already fallen head over heels for you."
Intertwining their hands together, he continued, "I know I am an idiot and stupid man when it comes to love and expressing it. I always tried different ways to let you know that I do care for you and you are important but I don\'t think so it was enough. I was struggling with finding ways to express my feelings for you when a wise man started guiding me and that sudden change happened because I was following his preachings."
Pausing for a while, he caressed her cheeks. "You own all of me and every inch of my heart. In fact, you have been in my heart occupying every inch of it since a very long time." Placing her hand on his chest, he continued, "This heart beats for you and only for you babe. I don\'t know when, how and where I fell in love with you Suyan but I did. I am actually so in love with you that I literally spend all my time thinking about you. I love you Suyan. I love you to the moon and back."
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