Chapter 93 - I'M BROKEN WITHOUT YOU
"Thanks, Lucas, you took me to the hospital. I\'m glad you still care about me." Michelle croaked, after a few moments she came to her senses.
Michelle was still lying on the hospital gurney, her face as pale as ever. Meanwhile, Lucas sat on the chair next to her.
Lucas was silent for a moment, before responding to the woman\'s words. He turned his head and looked at the confusion on his ex-lover\'s face. The one he had always hoped for.
"I\'m just doing what I\'m supposed to do." Lucas replied and took a deep breath. "Have you been sick for a long time?" He asked to make sure, after he got further explanation from the doctor that Michelle did have a serious illness.
Michelle forced a smile, before responding to Lucas. There was a look of doubt on her face, as if to show that she didn\'t want to say that to Lucas.
"Three years."
Lucas slightly widened at Michelle\'s answer. \'Three years? Does that mean Michelle got the disease right after we broke up?\' He thought.
The atmosphere is quiet for a moment. Lucas was still struggling with several questions that were filling his head at this time.
"I\'m broken, Lucas."
Michelle\'s words made Lucas snap out of his thoughts for a moment and turn to look at her.
"I\'m broken without you." Michelle looked sadly at Lucas\' face with slightly trembling lips as if holding back sadness.
"I regret that I chose the man Daddy chose. The man who turned out to be heartless and always rude to me. I\'m sorry that I left you, but I also have good reasons for choosing that path."
Michelle\'s explanation, which was quite lengthy, managed to make Lucas\' heart slightly touched. His hands seemed to clench in anger, knowing that his ex-lover often received harsh treatment from the man of her father\'s choice.
\'Was her life that ruined after she broke up with me?\' He muttered to himself.
"I know your marriage to Selena is cancelled, that\'s the reason I came to Indonesia," said Michelle.
Yes, even though her mother is Indonesian, she and her family have been living in the Netherlands for a long time, precisely after she finished college with Lucas in New York. At the same time, Michelle broke their relationship.
Even so, she still often follows social media accounts and news about Lucas. Maybe that\'s also what makes it difficult for her to forget her ex-lover.
"Don\'t you know that I\'m also married to another woman?" Lucas asked starting to respond.
"I know, but I also know that it wasn\'t a real wedding." Michelle replied, which made Lucas widen.
\'How could Michelle know the truth?\' Lucas thought at the time.
"You\'re wrong, Michelle."
"Don\'t lie, Lucas. You\'re not that good at lying. I know!" said Michelle. "I know that in fact the woman is only your paid wife." She added later.
Lucas looked away, then chuckled in annoyance that Michelle still knew him very well, even though they hadn\'t seen each other for a long time. However, how did the woman know that Ellen was just his paid wife?
"I beg you, Lucas. Come back to me, at least until I spend the rest of my life." Michelle held Lucas\' hand and suddenly made Lucas stunned for a moment.
"Sorry, but I love my wife." Lucas replied as he let go of Michelle\'s hand.
Michelle\'s touch in fact no longer produces a strange swish in Lucas\' heart. He was increasingly convinced that there was not a shred of love left for her.
"I don\'t believe it!" said Michelle.
"It\'s up to you, Michelle. What is clear, that\'s the truth. Maybe our marriage didn\'t start from love, but over time that feeling grew in my heart and I couldn\'t deny it all," explained Lucas trying to be honest with himself and Michelle.
"I don\'t know how broken you were after we parted. I\'m sorry, why did you only look for me after three years we were separated and things were different. So where have you been? Don\'t you want to know how broken I was, when you decided choose that man?" Lucas protested and at the same time brought out the things he had been hiding for a long time.
"I can\'t, Lucas." Michelle\'s defenses collapsed. Tears started to roll down her cheeks. I don\'t know what made her so weak, as if she was hiding something from Lucas.
"I can\'t live without you, Lucas. Maybe right now I\'m very low in your eyes, but I really can\'t go through it all alone. I just want to spend the rest of my life with the person I love the most and you\'re the one."
Tears streamed down Michelle\'s cheeks. Somehow she had to contain the sadness she had been harboring in her heart for a long time. It\'s useless for her to cry, if there is no one to lean on for her.
"No, Michelle. You can do it, I\'m sure." Lucas still insisted on refusing.
How could he just melt away, when his heart already belongs to another woman.
"No, Lucas ...."
Michelle didn\'t continue. She seemed to be shaking her head while sobbing. It hurts to be rejected by the man she loves so much.
"Forget about me. You\'re bound to find another man much better than me."
Lucas looked at the sad face. He really couldn\'t bear to say such things to the woman who was lying weakly in front of him. However, what could he do other than that? Of course he doesn\'t want to give Michelle false hope, while she already loves Ellena, who is currently struggling to stay alive together.
Maybe his words would be very hurtful to Michelle. However, he also couldn\'t lie to her, let alone lie to his own feelings. Wouldn\'t something starting with that lie not go well?
"How could any man want a sick woman like me, Lucas!" Michelle replied as she wiped the tears that were running down her cheeks.
Even Lucas, who used to always do that for her, now seemed to not care about her feelings. Then, to whom should she complain and complain, if the person who is considered the most important in her life, just doesn\'t care about her?
"Don\'t say things like that, Michelle! You have to believe that you\'ll get better."
Lucas tried to strengthen and support Michelle. The pain and disappointment towards the woman, instantly disappeared from his mind. As bad as Michelle was at that time, he still believed that Michelle was actually a very good woman.
This meeting actually made Lucas even more curious about the reason Michelle chose the man over him. He was sure that something had happened to Michelle. However, he also did not know exactly about it. It seemed he didn\'t have to question it anymore, because all the memories with Michelle he had buried deep and he didn\'t want to remember them anymore. Ignoring and allowing himself to be more curious, seemed to be the best way for him.
"You don\'t even want a sick woman like me anymore." Michelle complained disappointedly.
"That\'s not my reason, Michelle." Lucas argued, not accepting Michelle\'s accusations.
"I just don\'t want to lie to my own feelings. I\'m sure you will get a better man than me, so hang on! I don\'t like seeing you weak like this." Lucas continued with a big smile.
"Are you also going to avoid me after this?" asked Michelle, putting on a frightened expression.
Lucas was silent for a moment as he looked back at Michelle\'s face. Dilemma. Of course he was in a dilemma which way to choose. Serving or staying even just as friends? Wouldn\'t it sound bad if he avoided Michelle in such a sick condition?
Lucas took another deep breath. However, this time it ended with a wide smile on his face. "Don\'t think too much about unimportant things. Think about your health now. I\'ll always be ready, if you need my help." Heù said softly which instantly made Michelle smile happily.
With Lucas\'s statement, at least Michelle still has the opportunity to be able to chat with someone who never leaves her heart and mind.
"Come on, don\'t cry anymore. I prefer the old Michelle. Michelle is always cheerful and laughs happily." Lucas asked, wiping Michelle\'s tears with his hands directly.
***
After 10.00 pm, Lucas had just arrived at his house. Ellena seemed to be opening the door, remembering Joana who she had asked to sleep first.
For hours waiting for Lucas to return, Ellena couldn\'t even close her eyes. Until finally she decided to wait in the living room.
Ellena stared at Lucas\' face for a moment, without saying anything else even if it was just asking \'Why did you just come home?\'. She immediately turned around and walked away, leaving Lucas still standing in the doorway.
It suddenly made Lucas raise an eyebrow, staring at his wife in surprise. He swiftly chased after Ellena, having managed to close the door of the house again.
"Elle, wait!"
Ellena stopped in her tracks. She immediately turned around, when Lucas managed to pull her arm.
"Are you still mad at me?" Lucas asked to confirm.
Ellena snorted softly, before deciding to respond to Lucas\' question. "No!" She argued, then turned back around. However, as fast as lightning Lucas held her back.
"What\'s wrong, Lucas? I\'m sleepy, I want to sleep!" She said annoyed.
"You lied to me!" Lucas accused in disbelief, considering Ellena\'s attitude and words were so contrasting.
"No! Why would I lie?" Again, Ellena tried to refute Lucas\' accusations.
"I\'m sorry." Lucas whispered, lowering his head.
Seeing Ellena\'s attitude, it really made him feel guilty. Even though his wife said \'No\', but he knew that actually Ellena was angry with him because of what happened last afternoon.
"It\'s okay, Lucas. I won\'t be mad about it. Now please let me go!" Ellena tried to pull her hand out of Lucas\'s grip. However, Lucas remained unmoved and tried to hold it in.
"Let go, Lucas!" asked Ellena a little rebellious.
"I will not let go, until you tell the truth and forgive me!" Lucas said, he didn\'t want to give in.