BXBX NOVEL Chapter 314 Be Kind
"... I understand."
Abel opened his mouth, but no voice came out. He kept his silence, pulling out from her, then lay on her side. He snapped his eyes at her, acting with an air of nonchalance before spreading his arms to invite her. Aries simply smiled back and rested the side of her head on his muscular chest.
She placed her palm across his chest and settled on where she could feel his heart. Her brows rose when she figured he had a faint heartbeat. It was calm, unlike how his chest moved in and out... or maybe he just had too many muscles, she thought.
As they listened to each other\'s deep breaths in silence, she couldn\'t help but ponder about her complicated relationship with him.
Sometimes... Aries wondered why being with Abel hurts? Not that she didn\'t want to be with him, or vice versa. It was just that there were times, just like tonight, felt like the castle of trust they built together was simply made of sand. One mild wave and everything would be washed away.
That was why it hurt. It scared her.
She had always known she was important to Abel, but occasionally... it terrified and confused her. Was she foolish to desire to know what love truly was? Does he love her? Or does he simply need her so there was someone who could understand his shenanigans?
Those questions had been slowly eating her mind while the ghost of her past was slowly corrupting her soul.
It would be easier if she could discern what love was. But she couldn\'t; she never knew how love should be. It was never an easy word to speak of.
Dexter was right. Her reasoning for why she stuck with Abel was stupid. Abel never saw his future with Aries, and she was sure of that. She never saw that in his eyes. That was why he would treat her as if it was his last. She was content at first, but now... she didn\'t know.
She wished to know something... his heart or hers, but her tongue would roll back each time she wanted to raise the question.
"What\'s your plan?" she asked after minutes of silence, looking up at his side profile while he gazed at the ceiling solemnly.
"Mhm?"
"After this trip." She propped her elbow to see his face better. "Things will only escalate after tonight or soon, and considering every turn of events, it\'s safe to say this place will turn upside down. You won\'t stay in here even after things settled down, will you?"
Abel studied the deep curiosity in her eyes as if she was trying to extract an answer to a different question. He slowly raised his hand and tucked her hair behind her ear, humming low in his throat.
"Be kind," he answered after a moment while she arched her brows. "That\'s my plan."
"Be kind?"
"And generous."
Aries furrowed her brows because that was too vague of an answer. She raised her eyes back at him when he raised a question this time.
"What about you?" he inquired with a coarse voice. "What is your plan after achieving your goal?"
Aries pressed her lips as she hummed a tune, pondering about it. Honestly, she didn\'t have any concrete plan. Why does she need it? Wasn\'t it obvious? She would return to Haimirich with them and become Aries. She lowered her eyes at the thought.
Could she really become Aries? The Aries the emperor of Haimirich took in? That Aries? She didn\'t even know who that woman was now. All she knew right now was that she was this woman filled with anger and vengeance, and there was no room for forgiveness in her heart.
Was playing Daniella Circe for quite some time took away her real identity?
Aries gazed back at Abel, who was waiting patiently for her answer. "I don\'t know, Abel." Her lips stretched into a bitter smile, resting her head over his chest once again.
"I don\'t even know myself anymore or what I want in life because my only life goal is their demise." Her eyes softened with the thought of losing purpose once she achieved her goal. "I sort of feel empty inside, Abel. Sometimes, I feel satisfied when I outsmart them, but not to the extent that it will exhilarate me."
"It gets me every time I think about it, so I always toss the thought at the back of my head. Will I be happy in the end? I will get justice, so that\'s the same, right?" she continued in the same soft voice, blinking weakly as her eyelids felt heavy. "But what about after that? Will I still be happy? Can I still live normally? I feel like I am going to start over again without any notion of where my life would go."
"I can\'t even understand my heart or you..." Aries yawned and closed her eyes, mumbling. "What\'s the point of dwelling on my future endeavors when I can die tomorrow? Or not wake up after tonight?"
Silence descended into the room until her deep breaths broke the stifling silence. Abel gazed down at her with eyes bearing no particular emotion. He caressed her cheek gently, studying her face.
"I figured..." he whispered after minutes of silence. "... how hard it is to start over, not knowing what to do, not having any direction, and gets swept by the current." — because he also went through that.
Vengeance, succeeding, then nothing. Instead of knowing what to do after avenging himself, he felt lost right after. No one was at fault. It was just human nature.
"I\'ll give you a reason, darling." Abel cradled her in his embrace and buried his face on top of her head, eyes closed. "You do not need to worry, I\'ll be kind to you... I promise."
Because at the end of the day, the reason he was in here was because of Aries. To watch everything unfold and drive herself to her death... and then rise from the dead. That was how she would start over, make peace with her past, and start anew.
He was here to make sure of that.