BXBX NOVEL Chapter 101 - Ashamed.
Valentina falls down on her knees and cried her heart out holding the photo frame in her hands.
She looked at it as she tried to calm down herself and took a deep breath.
"I guess... I shouldn\'t think about the past anymore." Valentina said as she got up on her feet and kept the frame on the table back. She looked around the room. She took a deep breath as she walked outside of the room and walked towards the room that Amelia gave her to stay after Anthony\'s death. She opened the room door and stepped inside the room. She looked around and sighed as she saw a few of her pictures around the room.
She sighed as she stepped back and walked out of the room. She closed the door and walked around the mansion.
"Ms. Jackson, the dinner is about to serve." The maid said and Valentina nodded her head.
Valentina walked downstairs and to the dining room. Valentina saw Amelia setting the table. Amelia looked up and saw Valentina walking towards the dining table.
"Valentina, come... Let\'s have our lunch." Amelia said and Valentina nodded her head.
"Have a seat." Amelia said and Valentina nodded her head. Valentina sat on the chair and Amelia served her.
"Have it." Amelia said and Valentina nodded her head. She looked at the food in front of her and then at Amelia.
She kept staring at Amelia as she gave a smile to Valentina.
"What happened, Valentina?" Amelia asked but Valentina didn\'t say anything and just kept staring at Amelia.
Amelia understands that Valentina wanted to get feed by Amelia and she smiled understanding that.
Amelia moved close to Valentina and took her plate from her.
"Let me feed you." Amelia said making Valentina\'s eyes wide.
"Are... Are you sure?" Valentina asked.
"Yes." Amelia answered with a smile as she took the spoon full of the food and bought it to her mouth.
"Open your mouth." Amelia said and Valentina opened her mouth.
Amelia feeds Valentina for the first time making a tear falls down from her eyes.
Amelia wiped the tears away from her eyes.
"I am sorry, I couldn\'t do this all these years... I am really sorry..." Amelia said and Valentina shook her head in no.
"It\'s fine..." Valentine replied.
"No... It\'s not... It\'s not at fine for you... I know, how badly I treated you... I couldn\'t even control myself thinking about the words I told you every time you appeared in front of my eyes at your young age... I looked at you so badly... And called you with a vulgar name but still, you took them all... Without talking back to me..." Amelia said as she lowered her face in front of Valentina.
"It\'s a shame on me... To do all these to my own daughter... I don\'t understand, what kind of a mother I am? I just have a one child... But I didn\'t even look at that child... Even once..." Amelia said but it came out a question to herself. Valentina looked at the other way as Amelia tried to look into her eyes because she knows that she couldn\'t control if she again remembers what her mother said to her at he young age... She will be vulnerable... Devastated... Her new feelings on her mother... Happy moments right now and the new love towards her mother will not have any value... If she tries to remember the past again but she still couldn\'t help but think about all these as Amelia repeated what she did with Valentina at her young age.
"I know... I am such a bad mother... I didn\'t even try to look after what my daughter is going through... And how is she living her life? How is she doing with her life? I know, you are not happy in your life but I still, didn\'t try to do anything... Anything!" Amelia said as she held Valentina\'s hands in hers.
"I am ashamed of whatever I did... I still didn\'t try to make it right as soon as Anthony\'s death... We both know that he is the main reason for everything... But I didn\'t take any step towards you to support you in any way... I am just too busy in hating you... Hating my daughter... The child I gave birth to... But... What did I even do giving birth to my child? Except giving you hurt and make your life a living hell... I didn\'t do anything... I didn\'t do anything other than this... I am just so ashamed right now... I couldn\'t do this too... I don\'t have any right to sit in front of you like this right now... Even if you would continue the punishment you were giving me all these years is still not enough for me... There is no wrong in giving me that punishment until my death..." Amelia said as tears fall down from her eyes.
Tears rolled in Valentina\'s eyes as she remembered how cruel and badly her mother used to behave with her... It still hurts her but still, she doesn\'t want to bring all these talks between them from now... Because she is here to give a chance to Amelia... But she knows giving a chance to Amelia is so hard. But at last, she wants to try this out. She wants to give her mother a chance to prove her love for her daughter again. Amelia was never good to Valentina until Anthony\'s death... Even after his death, things make them hard for them to not to communicate properly between them. Maybe, if Amelia would try to do such a thing and was good to Valentina from them... Then Valentina might give her a chance to prove herself at that time itself... But... She didn\'t... Maybe, she did... But Valentina was so blind in seeing it... Because of what she has gone through all those years... It was not at all easy for her to communicate properly with her mother who didn\'t even ask her how is doing even once when she is going through a lot... Even not when hee father used to beat her a lot and leave her a lot in her room to make her suffer alone... She never thought that her mother\'s heart will be like a rock... She didn\'t even try to come to see her once... And that\'s what, used to hurt Valentina the most.
She wants to asl Amelia everything but she doesn\'t have any guts to do so right now but this is the only time she can ask her... If not now, she can never can ask Amelia about this...
She wants to know everything... Like, what didn\'t she ever try to stop Anthony? And why didn\'t she ever come to see her and ask her how is she doing? And all those things that a mother will ask her daughter... Even if she doesn\'t be Valentina... Valentina just wanted Amelia to talk about a few things with her when she is small... But she didn\'t... She became away at the age where she doesn\'t at all have any idea why her parents are beating her and why they are cruel to her while other children\'s parents at so good to their children.
She used to think a lot about why she is living in a small room when she has a mansion to live in? No one in the house used to look at her as she is a daughter of this house but like a slave... None looked at Valentina and she doesn\'t even have any idea, how she has grown up so fast without any support of anyone? She doesn\'t have any friends either... She was so scared to make friends because they used to talk about their families a lot and used to ask Valentina about her family... She doesn\'t have anything to tell to anyone about her family... With that fear of telling anyone about her family, she didn\'t use to make any friends. And so, she used to spend time with herself mostly... She used to try to understand herself and used to cry for herself... Not even telling to anyone... She was so lost in herself about herself. She wants to get out of the family and not to look back at them but at the same time, she doesn\'t want... Because she was love from the family... Her family! She has this small hope in her heart that maybe, someday, someone will chance and take her in... And try to explain her about things. But none did that until now which just made her built more confidence in herself that she is enough for herself... She doesn\'t want anyone to love because that is enough to love herself and give herself a time to adjust to things happening around her with time. But the time was never good for her... She never got that love she craved at that time, all these made her feel get crueler with herself and others and so, the reason, she turned into a Devil.