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Chapter 185 - Everything Will Be Worth It



ANNOUNCEMENT: Sorry for only updating once today (7-16-2021), it\'s because I\'m tired from work and that I can\'t write more. Instead of skipping today, I decided to make one long chapter for you guys. I hope you all understand. I will write 2 chaps daily when I can, for now, only one today because I feel feverish, too. Thank you for understanding and sorry for disappointing you. :(

[Also... this chapter is dedicated to ClementineEcho for leaving nice comments in my story for the month of June! Thank you so much for the support! I hope to see more of your comments soon!]

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Shu Xian reflected with herself what birthdays are really. She remembered how each country celebrated their birthdays and how it differs from each individual as well. 

Imagine how many unique traditions there are around the world when even families in the same country have a wide variety of birthday traditions. From celebrating with a cake and candles in the United States to slurping long noodles in China, there are many truly interesting traditions.

A party with balloons and streamers is common and most people are given a cake for their birthday. Candles are placed on top of the cake, one candle for each year of the person\'s life to represent his or her age.

The candles are little and as you light the candles, Happy Birthday to You is sung. The birthday person makes a wish and tries to blow out all the candles on one try. If the candles are all blown out, then the wish will "come true."

Gifts are personal to the person receiving the item and can include things like gift cards, favorite fragrances, and hobby items.

Food served might include anything from barbeque to pizza and chips. Finger foods that can be easily picked up and eaten are also popular. Some people make a punch made of fruit drink and ginger ale.

In China, the Chinese typically only celebrate certain birthdays: the first, 10th, 60th, 70th, and 80th. The 60th birthday is important to the Chinese because it is seen as completing a full zodiac (12 x 5 = 60).

However, even though this is the case, people still celebrate their yearly birthdays and only the numbers in the aforementioned were celebrated grandly.

Birthdays are typically family affairs. Food includes a bowl of long life noodles - long noodles that the person slurps into their mouth. A long slurp equals a long life. The Chinese say Zhu ni sheng ri kuai le, which means "happy birthday to you."

Also, the actual day of the person\'s birth might not be when the person celebrates her birthday. Chinese people recognize their birthday by the Chinese calendar.

At birth, the child is seen as one year old and turns two on the Chinese new year. If a child is born at the end of one year, he might be seen as two years old when he is technically only two days old.

For Shu Xian, as an individual, however... she sees birthdays as something different.

To her, a birthday can be sweet without a cake or fanfare when you are your own fan, when you are confident that you are a sweet person who does good each day of each year as best you can. Then you can enjoy your day with an inner glow, then kind that will shine in your eyes.

But for Shu Xian, at this age, a birthday is a quiet day.

It is a day to reflect on the year that was and what is ahead to strive for. It is a sort of personal "New Year," one where resolutions can be made, promises to the self.

For her, she plans to be bolder, to speak louder about the ideas she has for making a better life here with the people she founds special in life on Earth.

Perhaps that extra bit of bravery, that extra bit of willpower and resolve, is the real gift to herself. This time next year, she promises that she will be a better person, then make another resolution the year after.

Before when she was young and was still living with her uncle, she would never celebrate her birthday. She tried asking for it from He Shen once and he said her day doesn\'t matter, crushing her four-year-old soul.

Since then, she didn\'t ask for it. She always knew when her birthday is, but she always saw it as an ordinary day. 

It saddened her, yes, because people in her age during their childhood celebrated theirs and she was invited to some during elementary days when some decided to have a small party for the class...

But she knew that her cruel uncle will never give her the experience.

However, since her friend Shi Lian came into her life when they met during her high school days, it was the only time that she got to experience what a birthday feels like. 

It was a simple celebration, and only having a meal with a best friend but it was enough. It did not occur to her about wanting to have a surprise (unlike when she was young), and she told Shi Lian that surprises make her feel awkward. 

To be honest, she finds it weird to be sung a happy birthday while you wait for the song to end so you could blow the candles. She thought how uncomfortable it must\'ve felt, waiting and looking at the cake and do nothing but wait. 

If she were in the position, she thought what she\'d do: either clap her hands while they sing and wait awkwardly, or smile and dreadfully, internally wish that they stopped singing or never sang so they can just eat and do a little gratitude message.

With her thinking like this, she let out a sigh as they waited for the time of their timeout, the current time at 6:30 in the evening already. As there were only 30 minutes left, they decided to start cleaning, Zhang Ren sweeping the floor as Shu Xian help wipe the chairs and tables. 

Zhang Ren watched her friend cleaning. With a smile on her face, she hummed while she wiped the tables, the curl of her lips not leaving her face.

Zhang Ren felt actually happy to see Shu Xian always so cheerful. With him knowing briefly from Shi Lian that she doesn\'t celebrate her birthday extravagantly, now that she has met new people who are kind, he\'s excited that they\'ll be doing something to surprise her for the first time.

He hopes that this will be an unforgettable memory that she will share with her newly formed bonds, even though some people are acquaintances or strangers such as Pan An\'s mother and sister. 

Either way, they knew that Shu Xian will like the surprise no matter how simple it is. As kind and down-to-earth Shu Xian is, they all know that Shu Xian will appreciate the efforts they\'ve done for her on her special day. 

Shu Xian noticed that she\'s being looked at. With her now finished in wiping the tables, she arched a brow at Zhang Ren, wondering why she\'s being watched.

"What\'s up? Is there something weird on my face?"

Zhang Ren blinkes his eyes a few times. He snapped himself out of his thoughts when he realized just now that he was in a daze and thinking about their surprise to Shu Xian\'s birthday.

With him clearing his throat, he continued sweeping as he remembered the alibi Shi Lian told him for them to start the surprise.

"I just remembered what Shi Lian asked me to tell you," he started, continuing to sweep the floor as he talked. "She said she\'s sorry... she couldn\'t even text you that she\'s busy because there was suddenly an emergency to fix and she needed to go home."

To be honest, hearing this made Shu Xian feel blue. With her forcing out a smile, Zhang Ren noticed how she was doing it fakely, hearing what she said next in reply to what he said.

"Don\'t worry," the birthday girl said with a slight ache in her heart. "People have emergencies and Shi Lian rarely has them. Maybe something has happened. I understand we can\'t have the routine this year."

As Shu Xian turned her body not to look at him, Zhang Ren saw some tears pooling in her eyes. With her continuing to wipe the other tables, Zhang Ren bit his bottom lip in anxiety, not liking how this is going since seeing Shu Xian disappointed made him feel uncomfortable! 

With him turning his body as well so he won\'t be able to look at Shu Xian, Zhang Ren heaved a sigh, thinking to himself as he continued sweeping the floor of the Internet and Fiction Library section. 

\'Come on, Zhang Ren,\' he thought to himself, the frown on Shu Xian\'s face still lingering in his mind and further made him guilty. \'You have to do this for Shu Xian since it\'s her special day later! Everything will be worth it!\'


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