Chapter 292: Can’t Lie to Yourself
Chapter 292
Guo Momo was in no hurry to leave either, and stayed to chat with Zhi Xia for a while.
Although she didn\'t say it outright, it was evident from the conversation that she felt confused and worried about the future, with a vague sense of dissatisfaction and eagerness to break out of her current circumstances.
Sometimes, Zhi Xia quite admired Guo Momo.
This seemingly delicate girl had not been shown any mercy by fate. On the contrary, she had been given many hardships, yet she remained positive and willing to change her situation. She was smart and patient too.
Even in such a difficult family environment, she had not allowed herself to be dragged down. Instead, she had found a way out to give herself more hope for the future.
Of course, she would not have made it this far without encouragement and help from others along the way. Zhi Xia had contributed the most.
At the same time, Guo Momo also had different feelings towards Zhi Xia.
Initially, she had tried to ingratiate herself with Zhi Xia to gain the approval of PingAn\'s elders so that they would accept her and improve her life.
But now, she sincerely felt that Zhi Xia was like a beacon lighting her path in life. Whenever she encountered difficulties or felt lost and uneasy, Zhi Xia could always guide her correctly, help her and give her hope.
Zhi Xia was only a few years older than her, yet gave off a feeling of having lived for a very long time.
When Guo Momo returned home safely, the sun had already started its descent in the west.
Pei JianGuo was still sitting in the living room, looking rather gloomy.
Guo Momo was in good spirits today. She walked over with PingAn in her arms and put him down next to Pei JianGuo, "Why are you still at home? Don\'t you have to go to work in the afternoon?"
She admitted that she had deliberately timed her return.
Although their first encounter had been planned, she could not deny that she had truly harbored feelings for Pei JianGuo at one point.
Later on, that shred of sincerity had gradually worn away under various conflicts and interference from others.
With the passion fading into practical reality, what they had to consider was still their livelihood and their child.
So even though the love was gone and he had not met her expectations of a better life, she was still willing to endure for PingAn\'s sake.
But she could no longer lie to herself. It was not just that Pei JianGuo was becoming more impatient with her - she felt the same way about him too.
She could tolerate his selfishness but could not ignore his obvious dislike of PingAn following Wang Yue\'s provocations.
"You still know that I have work in the afternoon. Guo Momo, look at yourself now - no meals cooked, nowhere to be seen, taking PingAn out wandering all day long. Have you forgotten that you\'re a married woman, that you\'re my wife and PingAn\'s mother? Can you not fulfill your duties as a wife and mother?" Pei JianGuo launched into a tirade of criticism that left Guo Momo dumbfounded.
She quickly reacted and questioned back, "How am I not being a good mother and wife? Pei JianGuo, have you forgotten that I\'ve been the one solely taking care of PingAn these past few years? I\'ve never asked you to lift a finger in housework. I, Guo Momo, have done right by you well enough in our marriage these few years. And now I\'ve tested into college to become a university student. But not only are you not happy for me or helping to shoulder some family responsibilities, you\'re finding fault with me instead. I really don\'t understand what you\'re thinking. When you listened to your mother and sister\'s instigations, did you ever think about how PingAn ended up in his current state because of them? Why can\'t I have another child? It\'s because your sister pushed me down when I was pregnant, which led to my condition now. But you\'ve forgiven your mother and sister while constantly finding PingAn and me burdensome when we\'re the victims. Pei JianGuo, do you think you\'re in the right?"
Guo Momo had never complained to Pei JianGuo about Wang Yue before because she knew she had to rely on him and thus had to cajole him. When one lived under someone else\'s roof, they had to lower their heads. Without reliance, she would have no nerve.
Perhaps getting into university had given her some backbone, which led to her blurting out all those bottled-up words.
At this point, Pei JianGuo didn\'t even dare meet Guo Momo\'s eyes, because she had seen right through him. He felt guilty knowing full well that he was in the wrong rather than believing his actions were justified.
"The past is in the past. What\'s the point of bringing it back up? And mom has already compensated you," Pei JianGuo hastily grabbed his bag and got up. "Nevermind, no point squabbling with you. I\'m going to work."
He always avoided the problem when he couldn\'t argue back.
On one hand there was his mother and sister, on the other his wife and son - yet he was the most torn one stuck in between while none of the women understood him, all pressuring him instead.
Their loud voices must have frightened the child. Little PingAn sat on the bench, bawling with his mouth wide open but no sound coming out.
Guo Momo stubbornly wiped the corners of her eyes and picked up her son to soothe him. "PingAn, good boy, mommy and daddy were not fighting. Don\'t be scared, don\'t be scared, mommy\'s hugging her good boy..."
Pei JianGuo didn\'t come back after getting off work that afternoon and was still missing late into the night. Guo Momo had made dinner but didn\'t get to wait for him before eating with PingAn.
She wiped her tears and put on a smile before heading out the door. To the outside, she remained strong as ever.
There were many people on campus, smiles on every face. Zhi Xia had just entered when someone stopped her.
"Zhi Xia, long time no see." Zhao Runze stood before her. Now he could confirm that it was Zhi Xia who had enrolled.
No matter the change in name, there were some things that did not change. Even without formal schooling, she still managed to test into university through her own efforts.
"Comrade Zhao, we\'re not familiar enough for you to address me by my name. Please call me Comrade An," Zhi Xia remained aloof. She did not have the habit of leading others on when she knew their intentions. Clearly rejecting any hopes he harbored would be better for them both.
But Zhao Runze obviously lacked this awareness, feeling wronged by Zhi Xia not letting him call her by name. "I just want to be friends, what\'s wrong with that?"
"Comrade Zhao, I\'m a married woman. Getting too close with a male comrade would greatly disturb my family, which I do not want. Do you understand?" Zhi Xia stated plainly.
The brightness in his eyes dimmed as he gave a bitter laugh. "I...I understand. Sorry, I won\'t bother you again."
This time, he knew he had no hope left.
She was truly heartless. Even knowing that story, she still showed him no mercy.
Zhi Xia nodded and walked past him. After getting some distance, she suddenly remembered something and turned back to say: "Comrade Zhao, one\'s life should not revolve solely around petty romance. You\'re an exceptional person with such opportunities. Work hard towards a better future, and I believe you\'ll also find someone compatible to accompany you for life."
This was the only advice she could give, hoping he would set his sights elsewhere instead of on her - and it was out of consideration that he had not actually done anything inappropriate.
Zhao Runze was still a decent man after all. She sincerely wished him well.
Zhi Xia and Guo Momo were not in the same classroom. Zhi Xia walked into her classroom and sat down in her seat.
The person beside her suddenly nudged her. "Zhi Xia An? You\'re Zhi Xia An?"
The girl before her looked so different compared to when they first met, so much prettier now! Her temperament had changed dramatically too. If not for that face still bearing some resemblance to the An family\'s grandmother, Zhi Xia would barely recognize her.
Zhi Xia turned to see a skinny, dark girl with big round eyes shining brightly at her.
"You are...?" Zhi Xia racked her brains but couldn\'t recall who she was.